Oh, hell no.
Is he is staring at me? Is she scanning me? Am I weird or something? Overdressed? Under-dressed? Wardrobe malfunction or total outrage? Did makeup gets smudged off? Has my bag got unzipped? Or My pants got unzipped? C'mon, I mostly wear Joggers. Fuck it all. Who cares anyway?
Thoughts which mostly run in my anxious mind while I walk on the roads after being decked up for the day. It happens everywhere I live. Not that I didn't love attention. It's that I just didn't need any unnecessary attention from people. Maybe those shimmery ear studs and rings of mine attract people's eyes? I thought about it, but those looks should end within seconds, right. They never end, I don't know why people just peep into stuff what I wear. Maybe I follow Gender fluid dressing style? It's not that I'm confused about what I wear, it's just I don't like being normal and I wanna cover both masculinity and femininity together.
Definitely not complaining about the society, because even though I shout FUCK YOU in public, no one cares. That's what India is, so liberate and democratic. Am I being too sarcastic? "Fuck No", says my inner soul. Because it's the core fact. Wait, Why am I complaining? Actually, I should feel good about it. People are staring at me no matter what. They can't keep their eyes off each other. Say it because, of the way of dressing, way of styling, my long hair and accessories, way of walking, whatever, they were staring. It's better to stand out of the crowd and think out of the box rather than just keeping yourself limited. I'm fucking unlimited and I know how to embrace it. Let me make that clear. There is no harm in being yourself right until and unless you are literally hurting people with and around you. I should stop complaining and feeling timid about myself just because I love leading my life with my own fucking rules.
My makeup speaks I'm clear about myself. I don't like blemishes. My dressing says I'm organized. I match up to my outfits with my footwear to make the whole attire looks fashionable. I'd like to leave my hair long. I don't like to tie it up, because I like freedom and I love myself leading an adventurous life without being stuck up at one place. My earrings are glittery and shimmery. I love the fun around me and spreading the calming vibes. My nose piercing says that I am gender fluid and I really don't give a fuck what people think. My way of talking speaks that I know how to communicate with people in an efficient way. My walking says that I nail each and every step I take. I treat every path as a runway and I walk as I own it. Yeah, I walk with a swag because I love flaunting my attire.
When I have clarity about myself and so clear about every single inch of me, Why should I even care about what people think? Well, let them stare. Let they peep into my personality. Let them judge me. Let them criticize me. Let them get inspired by my looks and personality. Just let them comment. Let them compliment. Let them provide love, support and guidance. Let them hate me. Because no matter whatever they do, that's never gonna affect a single bit of me.
Why should I stop and ask people "Do you have any problem"? What if they do? Why should I care about them? Why should I put myself in a situation that hurts me internally? Asking these questions myself took me to a trance where my inner soul has answered me not to care about them and just be yourself.
They stare at you because you worth it. It's not because, You are gay, not because you dress differently, not because you are a queer fish. It's because they don't have what you have with you. That charisma to be yourself no matter what people think. Saying this to myself every single time helps me to come out of those awkward situations. I think it's okay to keep reminding yourself that you shouldn't and never care about what people think.
People's staring actually made me even more daring. Does your mind also speak the same with you when people give you looks? Trust me, You get looks only when you have good looks. Embrace it and never be embarrassed about it. Because You Worth the Stare!!