If you know about yourself that you are gay and if you have been dating people of the same sex, since your childhood, you undoubtedly know how it feels like coming out when the people whom you slept with, act completely straight without accepting the fact of their sexual orientations and remain shut themselves behind the closet doors forever. It's not painful but one can't digest when one's, one-time ex-fling or ex-boyfriend or ex-sex partner behaves as if he is straight and has nothing to do with homosexual encounters. Yes, this is how it feels like dating a self-loathing gay man. You can't embrace yourself, and you can't appreciate the relationship.
Self-loathers are one of the categories of gay men; one shouldn't consider investing emotions or having a romantic committed relationship. When you can't accept yourself the way you are, then you can't accept other people too. This is what happens with most of the bisexual men and a few homosexual men who don't want to label themselves as gays and feel extremely offensive if they even get a small doubt that others might consider them as gay!