This is the common question many heterosexuals have in their minds regarding queer people especially drag queens, transgenders, and effeminate homosexuals. Typically, people who spill femininity other than heterosexual women are always treated as someone who exaggerates the aspect of womanhood through their behavior, dressing, and gestures. The queer community consists of people who are expressive, who don't hesitate to present their creativity in every single possible way, and who never want to get oppressed even though they encounter many kinds of suppression every day.
Not only heterosexuals but a few people who are from the queer communities also raise the same question when they face someone who is extra effeminate and they call them girlish and sissy. Strictly speaking, no matter however the surroundings around us evolve gradually, people still stuck up with the gender norms and discriminate against others based on their gender behavior. A male is expected to behave as tough and wild whereas a female is expected to behave as sensitive and graceful. Then how can a person judge another person who tags oneself as transgender or non-binary? Do you have any pre-mentioned gender norms for people who belong to the third gender and gender-neutral?
Keeping everything apart, do you think that there are any limits to a person for being a man or a woman or non-binary? Yes, some queer people do exhibit their womanliness way more than expected. Sometimes we see them try to cross their comfort zones to let the world know that they are no lesser than any woman. Similarly, we also see the same thing in transmen and manly-looking lesbians who try hard to prove to the world that they are no lesser than any man out there. In this whole process, people in society think that they flaunt their sexuality way too much than required. Do you perceive why?
In this demeaning, degrading, and disgusting society, a heterosexual woman is expected to be submissive and weak when compared to any heterosexual man, even though too many things have been changing for ages. If a typical society with ignorant people can't even accept a woman's upliftment, how a queer person thinks that he/she/they would be expected to be accepted as a normal person? Sadly, queer orientations are still getting considered unnatural and abnormal. This is one of the primary reasons why transwomen and transmen struggle consistently to prove themselves as women and men by portraying their feminine and masculine behavioral patterns. But instead of appreciating the efforts, people start complaining regarding their personalities?
Why? Do you feel jealous of witnessing a woman who's transformed from being a man or a person who expresses the aspect of femininity better than you in one's dressing style and graceful gestures? Do you feel conscious that a transman can lift heavyweights in the gym better than you who endures a heterosexual man? If you think a queer person depicts one's sexuality way too much than expected and required, it surely specifies that you are being jealous, cautious, conscious, attacked, crushed, and cornered.
Well, you don't have to feel anything because, the state of confusion, the curiosity of exploring things, the anxious mind in public, the need of proving to the people around, the importance of marking an image in everyone's mind, the passion towards one's gender identity, the zeal towards attaining the normality, the spirit of blending among the people, makes a transgender spill one's feminity or masculinity a bit more than expected so that people around should consider him/her/them as someone who befits the world as a man or a woman.
When it comes to androgynous, gender-neutral, gender-queer, basically all the people who label themselves as non-binary, don't even consider these stereotypical gender norms, and the aspects of femininity and masculinity are alien concepts for them. That's the very reason why people who belong to the gender binary feel perplexed when they encounter non-binary people. As there are no restrictions and laid gender norms, non-binary people behave, act and enjoy their lives the way they love without giving a damn to society. Unfortunately, that's the reason why heterosexuals feel non-binary people as the walking exaggerations of the gender binary. But that's your assumption. Why do they have to flaunt themselves so much when they don't even consider the concept of the gender binary? Don't you think that you exaggerate your thoughts regarding people and their gender identities?
To all the heterosexuals and a few ignorant queer people, if you think you express your gender identity in a specified form, then maybe you are not expressing it enough and maybe that's the reason why you feel others as over-expressive just because you restrict more instead of opening up better. Try spilling your gender identity as much as you can, then you feel that transgender and non-binary people express the way how you want to put yourself out there.