Whom to blame when the time of blaming comes?


No matter how hard it is to deal with heartbreaks, the phase of a breakup can be always considered as a temporary stressful situation. In the end, we humans tend to move on in life to encounter further struggles. Sadly, everyone's life is a struggle to strive further to live more. Naturally, we can't deny the process. Even breakups are undeniable. You must face the situation one or the other day if you think or sense that your romantic relationship is degrading day by day. It happens if it is destined to happen.



If you tell others about your beautiful relationship, they will praise for all the efforts you put to bloom the relationship and utter all the positively uplifting phrases. But try telling about your breakup issues or the news of your fresh breakup status of the relationship, you will be flooded with deeper condolences and hell lot of opinions which throw the blame on either you or your partner. If the people around loves you, then your partner could be abashedly blamed. Observe the hypocrisy. We, humans, are like that, just to make someone feel fine, we start throwing blame on others without knowing the full story. This happens in everyone's life and more than the person who faces breakup, the pals who surround that person, blame more than him/her for his/her failed relationship.


Every one of us, face a breakup situation at least once in a lifetime. Some people face too many breakups as if they are habituated with heartbreaking situations. Regardless of the number of times, a person encounters a break up of a romantic relationship, the feeling remains the same with everyone. Imagine yourself in your breakup situation and now by considering all the facts in your beautiful romantic relationship with one of your partners or your only partner, think who is more blamable? Is it you or your partner? Whom should you blame, when you feel that you should blame, how should you blame, and finally why should you blame?



All these questions go unanswered no matter how badly you try. Because, unfortunately, these aren't easy to answer. But some people find easy ways to answer those questions and indeed become successful in throwing blame and satisfying their egos. You should blame it because your relationship got ended. You can blame in many ways by defaming and degrading the person who you once loved the most. You can blame when you feel like blaming and especially when the times come that you would be needing someone to blame for your failed relationship just to make sure you stay in a safe place. This time may arise soon after your breakup or sometime later when the consequences of your breakup go against you or simply when you feel the burst of the rage that is built up in your body since the breakup.


And now the serious question, whom to blame? This question brings out the hypocrisy of a human being. Under the name of love, a couple considers themselves on top of the sky and they ignore all the little things which bother them in the process of saving their relationship or continuing their commitments further. But, someday, when the clouds get cleared and when they get to know about each other and what is missing in a relationship, a couple surely gives a thought about breaking up the paths. At this very point, the time of blaming comes.




A person either self-blame or blame his/her partner or blame the society or family issues or simply blame some third person to fill the void or to escape from the partner he/she disinterested with. In all these cases, the blaming is common because without it how a person can move on in life by washing off all the dirt by throwing the blame on others or oneself.


If you blame your partner, then you prove that your choices are bad or else you became blind in the name of love. If you blame society, then you accept that you can't deal the society though love bond gives you the utmost strength to face. If you blame the family of yours or your partner's, then you must simply consider that you are poor in convincing and not sure about going against the ethics of a family to save your relationship. If you blame a third person out of nowhere, then it specifies how disinterested you are in having a relationship with your partner. And finally, if you blame yourself, it shows your degrading mental personality and declining confidence which may end you up with losing hope in love.




In every case, the blaming part makes you doubt yourself and your instincts. Throwing blame of your breakup won't make you emotionally free, it indeed tangles you in other consequences which may make you feel guilty or messed up. Instead, when the time of blaming comes, why can't you stay calm and brush it off with a smile and move on in life? Most importantly, leave it karma. Why do you have to open your mouth and throw the blame shit on others or why do you have to suppress yourself by self-blaming? Breakups are emotionally painful and by blaming, it escalates, but never reduces your pain.


So, when the time of blaming comes, never blame!




#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #breakupblogs #queerthoughts #lovelife



The title is adopted from the book called "The Order of Light" written by Haroon Moghul where he mentioned Islam and how the people fail in understanding the deeper meaning of it and come with manipulative theories that affect all the Muslim countries. Here I adopted the title to explain how a person feels manipulated under the name of love and encounters the heartbreaks at the end. Love is also one kind of religion where people worship it at times, like it when they feel it and hate it when they can't get it and understand the deeper meaning of it.