When you find your ex with someone you know....

Every one knows every person in this current millennial era and especially when it comes to the queer community, the chances of knowing a fellow queer person are higher. Because of social media and virtual dating platforms, people know each other without having a personal connection or a mutual connection. Sometimes we scroll people's profiles online and stalk them and the next day if we bump into the same person in a cafe or a restaurant, we can easily recognize that person, though approaching that person and smiling at him/her completely depends on a person's choice. But a person in the queer community; open or closeted can be likely to have information about the people in the community through connections, parties, events, or carnivals.




Personal and mutual connections are essential for a queer person to be aware of the community and the people who belong to the community. People from the nooks and corners of the world belong to the queer community are considered as one and sometimes, you may find two of your queer pals as a couple, out of nowhere and it isn't surely magic. Because in this flexible millennial era, you can always expect the unexpected. Similarly, you may find your ex-partner with someone you know completely, through a personal or mutual connection. Bumping into your ex is fine. Seeing your ex with someone you don't know is still tolerable but finding your ex with someone you know or you never expect to be ended with your ex is utterly devastating (internally) Do you know how to deal with this kind of situation all of a sudden without any prior notice?




First of all, cover up your expression made out of blended emotions of anger, frustrations, shock, and surprise. Stay calm and spread your lips wide to welcome the upcoming consequence. Don't conclude without comprehending the facts. If you are gay and encounter your ex-boyfriend holding hands of someone you know, this will surely break your heart and make you end up with a lot of questions. It's completely human-like behavior. But confronting without knowing the facts, isn't. So, before anything else, try to know, what's cooking between them. Like how you know that person, your ex may also associate with him or you might have introduced that person to your ex when you were in a relationship. So, stay calm and focus on the facts.





Decently ask them whether they are seeing each other or else just hanging out. Don't confront your ex-partner, directly by asking him " Are you in a relationship, already?" That will make the situation worse and who knows your ex may make you feel frustrated by acting instantly as if he is in a relationship just to fire you up. So, use the sign language or use your dried up telepathic conversations with your ex. Of course, he is your ex and can understand at least a bit. Try getting the required information without giving any hint to that other person.



If you find out, your ex isn't dating that someone you know, instead of portraying your sheer excitement through the spark in your eyes, just smile normally. If you find out that your ex is dating that someone, whom you know personally and mutually, then take a deep breath and smile normally. Maintaining the same expression with exes is the best way to portray your personality without enabling them to understand what's running in your mind.


Don't freak out. If you don't want to ruin their moment or ruin your harmony of the day, you better ignore by wishing them good luck and escape from that place. But if you are okay seeing your ex with another person and if you can take it positively, then be polite and talk to them for a while before getting into the awkward small talk conversations.




But if you are a drama queen and want to confront your ex for being with someone you know and want to make that other person feel embarrassed, then you can go ahead and confront both of them for seeing each other. But keep this in mind; this will degrade your value, not theirs. If you are okay to be degraded furthermore, then bash them off and get into unnecessary drama.


There are three types of people: the ones who ignore, the ones who confront and the ones who try to analyze the situation. If you are a person, who is curious about the happenings between your ex-partner and your queer pal, then you must act smart by hanging out with them for a while till you get the answers. Here you need to take advantage of your connection with the current partner of your ex because your ex will surely deny the offer by making weird excuses. After all, no one likes to hang out with the ex and the current partner at the same time.




Use your communicative senses and let your ex and his/her current partner, who is also your friend or a pal or someone you know through a mutual connection in the community, hang out for lunch or dinner, or even just for a coffee. A lot of conversations can happen over a small cup of coffee. Don't try to dig the past with your ex, that will again ruin your purpose. Instead, try focusing on how your ex knows, your queer pal. By the end of the conversations, you will get to know the reality about what's cooking and what has cooked between them. Regardless of the emotions behind your findings, try passing a smile and giving a hug to both of them and finish it up with a smile.




You may not be happy seeing both of them together. You may be unhappy after knowing your ex was cheating on you with the same person you knew before during your past relationship. You may not be happy for seeing your ex, moving on in life faster than you. You may be unhappy about being alone with no one beside you. But you must be happy for finding out the closure, you must be happy that one of your love chapters is completely concluded forever, you must be happy for your fresh start without thinking about your ex and most importantly, you must be happy for being polite and well after seeing your ex with someone you know!


#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #queerlifeproblems #datinglife #queerculture