When you don't feel connected with the community!

The queer community is massive, expressive, sound, uplifting, and connecting. This community combines people from the nooks and corners of the world to join together and fight against all the odds and to enhance awareness in people regarding the LGBTQ+ sexual orientations. Every person who belongs to this community can be identified as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, asexual, pansexual, etc. But, not every person in the community, gets along with the whole community or other queer people. Not everyone feels comfortable shouting out slogans to create awareness in the society. Not every queer person feels relaxed in queer carnivals or queer parties.




Some people in the queer community don't feel connected with the community, and they don't like to appreciate their queer persona with the outside world. They aren't the fans of mingling with other queer people and explore the deepest roots of the community. They maintain an exceptionally low profile when it comes to the queer community. These people are the most targeted ones for their non-contribution to the community by other people from the community. But do you think, is it fair to judge them for their levels of participation? Do you think, you can force a person to make a connection with another person or a group or a community?




Many open people who are out and proud as queer, don't like to participate in Pride parades and don't like to just restrict themselves with one particular community. If you are gay, that doesn't mean you should be only hanging out with other gay tribes or with people from various queer orientations. There is no such rule existing in the queer community.


The tribes of a particular orientation further separate the queer community into various parts and groups. Have you seen the butch lesbian group hanging out together as a club, walking on the streets by shouting out slogans to fight against the dressing and behavior restrictions? There's no wrong in it. Indeed, these lesbians form an activist group to create awareness to let people understand and accept their butch lesbian daughters or sisters by treating them normally. But some girls, find it as unnecessary and irrelevant because according to them Lesbianism is not only all about stressing on the masculinity in a female, it's more about love and sexual preferences. Hence, a few lesbians feel these tribes or groups as diluting factors of the community. Everyone is opinionated. So, try respecting others' opinions instead of judging their views.




Have you ever been to a gay party where the dress code is only Leather and Rubber? Well, in these parties, you can only see tough, muscular men sporting leather all over the body. There are many gay clubs of various gay tribes in the gay community. A gay nerd feels completely disconnected in a gay leather club and similarly, a gay twink finds himself as a stranger among gay chubs. And this is the reason, a few gay men feel these clubs as overrated and only exist to appreciate the fact of sexual attractions and nothing more. Hosting gay clubs according to particular gay tribes isn't wrong. But making a fellow gay person feel disconnected, discomforted, and disgusted when he steps in other gay clubs is one kind of degrading factor, which many gay men don't like. Hence, most of them don't get involved in these gay groups where men of a particular type can be seen as one single constraint.




It's the same with transgenders too. Transvestites are also part of the queer community, but how many of us can feel connected with them whenever we cross our paths with them on the roads? Why people are scared or feel embarrassed when they encounter transgenders, especially drag queens or the ones with shimmery and flashy appearances? Because a group of people always dominate the vibe around them and make other people feel less welcome and this is the reason, why most of the queer people in the community do not consider transvestites or transgenders as a part of the community, though they play the major role in the community.




Not everyone can get along with a bunch of people of the same tribe and not everyone can appreciate the theme of a particular group or a tribe or a club. Hence, a few people in the community don't feel empowered, motivated, inspired to feel connected with the other people in the community. It is okay if you are one among them. You don't have to feel bad or treat yourself as bad because of your non-cooperative personality when it comes to mingling with the community. If you have a strong opinion of not getting along with the queer community. It can be justified, but you must try your level best to make yourself, feel connected with the community.




If groups are making you uncomfortable, then hang out with one person at once. To appreciate the whole community, don't restrict yourself to your orientation and start exploring the people from other orientations too. If you don't want to get along with the community in person, then contribute your piece of work through charity, art, or through virtual platforms where you don't have to party with a whole queer crowd.




Your opinion matters, but you need to adjust to others' opinions too regarding various tribes, groups, and clubs in the queer community. Until and unless you open up yourself, you can't make connections with other people in the community. Take it slow but never restrict yourself to get along with the queer community. It encourages you to perceive what's happening around you and what's your role in the community. If you feel the tribes as meaningless, then form a meaningful club or be a member of an inspiring queer group where you can be with people from various queer orientations of various types in one place!



#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #queerlifeproblems #queerculture #queergroups