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When the bitterness around you steal your sweetness!

There is this common generalization, basically, a baseless assumption that goes around the queer culture, that all the queer people are aggressive and way too much to handle. This is one of the reasons for all the unnecessary queer-phobia in this world. If you are one among those people who feel embarrassed or conscious about making your presence beside a queer person, be it gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, or even just a drag performer, have you ever tried talking to that particular person and know what that person is, instead of judging him/her/them by just considering the appearances?

Hell, no! Most people don't even try approaching a queer person to know his/her side of the story. Instead, everyone likes to poke, tease, comment, criticize, hate, and ill-treat them with just an assumption, that queer people are a threat to the world. Until and unless you lead a proper open queer life, you can never understand the highs and lows of a queer person. The world sometimes gets too hard on a soft queer person which in turn makes that person harder and tougher, clearly unbearable at times!

Coming out of the closet is an immensely brave and tough task for any queer person but that doesn't mean, open queer people, clearly having fun out there by being themselves. Find at least one queer person in this world, who says he/she/they are completely doing fine without facing any judgmental criticism. There is no shock and surprise in knowing the count is ZERO! Because one or the other way, all the so-called out and proud queer people, face validation issues every single day.

Of course, most of them don't give a damn because after reaching one particular saturation point, every open queer person becomes numb and reckless about all the criticism around and some of them completely transform into a whole different person. This happens only when the bitterness in the world tries to steal the sweetness of a person.

Transvestites on Indian roads became notorious for their so-called atrocious acts. But try to approach them and strike a soulful conversation. Give them a ten-rupee note and ask them how they are doing. You will be surprised by their heartful responses. It depends on how you behave, not how they are and how they carry themselves.

Have you ever wished a transformed person post his/her sex transformation and tried to know their medical and biological processes, instead of ignoring them like a piece of trash, as if you don't them anymore, though you were so close with that particular person? Do you know how hard it is for a person to realize, appreciate, and go according to one's will by going against all the odds to complete one's soul to match with one's body? Even most people from the queer community fail at following the journey of a transgender person!

It's happening with gays, lesbians, and bisexuals, especially after they come out to the world as themselves. Because of these unwanted societal gaps, a queer person's life is getting segregated into two parts: Before coming out and after coming out. The world is hard on every one of us, but it becomes harder for an open and proud queer person.

If someone slaps us, we may either cry or ignore or complain or fight back in the first attack itself. But what if someone tries to demean and degrade you every single day, will you be that cry baby or the sweet person who follows Gandhism or goes to someone every time or just tries fighting back and protecting oneself? Yeah, one can't be sweet all the time no matter what, especially when the bitter facts swallow one up gradually. This is what happens with a few open queer people who get attacked by endless judgmental criticism. They become bitter and lose their sweetness, just to protect themselves and their identities.

So, when people face such a queer person who spills harsh emotions, just to reflect his hard image in society, the whole community is getting generalized and judged, which makes all the closeted queer people's lives harder. Notably, in Indian society, people believe rumors and build their conclusions out of assumptions. This particular phenomenon is spreading an invisible ripple in the community and without any knowledge, that bitterness is swallowing the sweetness of the queer people.

Queer people are fun, creative, entertaining, charitable, loving, adorable, highly talented, inspirational, motivated, career-oriented, believers of love, bold, glamorous, fashionable, and many more. Aren't all these sweet traits of ours? Then, why are we allowing some senseless bitter judgments out there to affect us so deeply, that we are ruining our inner peace by losing our sweetness and becoming too harsh to society?

"Don't let the world make you hard. Don't let pain make you hate."

This is not only applied to all the open queer people but also applied to every single person who treats queer people as complete outsiders of society. We all collectively make the world run. If you consider those baseless assumptions, you allow the bitterness to steal your sweetness. Because a newborn kid doesn't perceive anything to hate a queer person. He/she becomes queerphobic, only when his/her parents behave erratically and talk about the queer community in a bad manner. So, don't be that person who fills up the bitterness and making it to snatch your sweet humanitarian side!


Ending this year with a blog which I kind of drafted for myself as I'm one of those open queer people who became bitter and lost my sweetness. Hope I regain it soon!

- Thank you,

Hemanth Bhargav!

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