What's losing virginity in the queer community?

Do you believe in the aspect of Virginity? Or else are you among those millennials and Gen X kids who strike off the unclear facts of this invisible thing called Virginity? No matter whoever you are, you must face this word at one point of your lifetime, because this particular cliche concept is formed way before our arrivals on this earth. Virginity is not a part of the body, hence losing it, or having it, doesn't make any sense, until and unless if it is considered as the state of a person before getting physically or sexually engaged through intercourse.




With the changing of times, this concept has also evolved day by day. From being strictly confined to a girl's physical intercourse status to creating confusion in the younger generation, this word has created too many ripples in many people's lives. Previously, this word is typically used to let a person know privately or publicly, whether he/she has never engaged in sexual intercourse or not, especially in heterosexuals. Hence, after a while, people started believing losing virginity is all about having sexual penetration, strictly speaking, when a penis enters the vagina for the first time, it is considered to be as an act of losing virginity.




Then what about the queer community and all the orientations under the umbrella term of Queer? How people in the queer community must perceive this typical concept of virginity? Many queer teens, whenever introduced to this term, fall into the deeper levels of confusion, frustration in the search for validation. Of course, a few people don't believe in it, but some people want to know how it is like losing virginity. Unlike heterosexuals, the penis-vagina penetration completely sounds irrelevant to the queer community. Sex is way beyond genital penetration. Losing virginity is not at all about a vagina getting penetrated by a penis or a penis penetrating a vagina.




Generally, sexual intercourse by a person for the first time is considered as losing virginity. But not every first-timer ends up getting penetrated or penetrating one's partner straight away. Especially, in the queer community, people feel confused, uncomfortable, disgusted and at the same time feel the pleasure, curiosity, anxiousness, and also feel shy and guilty, when they try to explore their orientations through sexual encounters. Though the times have changed and the world becomes supportive of the queer community, every queer teenager feels pressurized when it comes to losing virginity.




Besides feeling lust, love, and excitement, queer teens end up feeling puzzled and demotivated, especially when they compare their sexual encounters with the typical concept of losing virginity. Most of the queer kids, queer teenagers, and even the people who have already experienced the sensual heat of their bodies by getting engaged with their sexual partners also think that they are still virgins when they don't get to explore the third-base connection. This dogma of genital engagement must not be tagged with the invisible virginity.



If you are a queer person who doesn't understand and who doesn't like to follow the typical societal concept of virginity, then be like that forever without considering other's opinions. Don't get affected by their comments, remarks, questions, ideologies. If you don't want to believe, then stick to it and move on in your life by exploring your orientations sexually and in every possible way, without letting people ruin your inner peace of harmony.




If you are a queer person, who likes to know or already believed in the concept of virginity, then remember, sexual intercourse is not just penetrating through your genitals. It is way beyond that. It includes a physical, emotional, and consensual connection. It's not just the penis-vagina penetration, that makes a person lose virginity. Oral sex, Anal sex, Vaginal sex, Fingering, Grinding, and enjoying any or every kind of sexual behavior, sexual fantasy, sexual position, sexual fetish are also acts of losing virginity.




So, if you are gay and end up having a sexual engagement for the first time except getting your ass penetrated by your top partner, then you are no more a virgin. So stop considering yourself as a Virgin until you get hardly pounded by your sex partner one day after many years of experiencing sensual vibrations through oral sex and lots of foreplay. Your every blow job, rim job, quickie, sensual foreplay also matter in losing your virginity. Hence, having anal sex is not the only criteria; a gay man must consider in losing his virginity.




Similarly, just because the penis isn't involved in your sex life, don't make your lesbian personality shine like the Virgin Mary. So stop chasing the roads of typical heterosexual concepts. The day your sex partner's fingers slide in your vagina to attain an orgasmic nirvana, that day you lose your virginity. As fingering is also a form of sexual practice among lesbians, there is no need of involving a penis to make a lesbian lose her virginity. And indeed, your intense eating out acts also can be calculated.




Stop considering the penetration of sex as the dead-end of losing virginity. In the queer community, various sex practices that let a person explore one's sexual orientations sensually can also make a person lose one's virginity. If you are so bothered about your virginity status, then keep this in mind, that you don't have to get your genitals penetrated to lose virginity!




We are queer, and our concept of losing virginity must also be queer, what do you say?