What if you get lost in ugliest places?

Have you repeatedly failed in love? Did you leave anyone by mentioning a ridiculous reason? Have you ever got dumped by someone like a piece of trash? Above all, have you ever experienced pain in love? Almost everyone encounters bitter experiences in love. People may experience with one person or with many people many times. Some become weaker and some become more determined. Various people have various ways to cope up with their breakups. A few people focus on improving their personalities by making some productive efforts and some people become a little dramatic by purposefully degrading themselves with various addictions to just get rid of the past loving memories.





Mostly, all such people are considered as love-failures, fucked up souls indeed and hence they are treated as some bad influences on society. Always remember, pain can be controlled in several ways. Some opt for productivity and some opt for destruction. Both are equally important. You must be wondering how destroying one's self or going in dangerous paths may encourage a person to cope up with a troubled relationship?


It's okay to get lost, and it's okay to explore the ugliest places. How many of you have addicted to hookups or having sex with many people just because you had a painful breakup with a person you loved the most? How many of you have started drinking way too much than before or addicted to smoking cartons of cigarettes daily in the process of erasing all the memories? Half of the couples who break up with their partners, choose various paths to ruin their harmony in search of peace. Some even commit suicides and some commit the worst blunders of life. We think that we may gain some peace of mind if we sleep with every random person, drink till we puke, smoke till we cough badly, end up being in bars by committing terrible mistakes, and may even end up our lives. But every single option of these destructive paths leads to the destruction of a person, not upliftment.



The most unpleasant place must be explored in a way that you shouldn't end up reaching a dead end where you can see nothing and can't find your way out. You don't have to explore completely; all you need to do is to look out for the brightness in those ugly places and start looking at them as bright places. Your frustration on your ex-boyfriend shouldn't turn you into a sex maniac who sleeps with every random person. Observe the limits. In the process of making an ex-partner feel jealous, many of us end up being addicted to having sex with everyone. Ultimately, it makes us feel lustful than lovable. It makes us search for physical satisfaction, not an emotional attachment and if you reach the dead end, you will become a person who doesn't trust love at all, instead, you feel comfortable with just hooking up. So, if you check the graph; a person who believes in love suddenly becomes a person who is addicted to sex and doesn't believe in making love. And the absurd part is, we all perform these things for someone who already left us.




It's the same with alcoholism. We all may forget things for a while in the intoxication of alcohol, smoking, and intake of drugs. These are completely temporary options. There is no such drug or alcohol, which forces a person to forget about his/her ex for a lifetime. Hence, gradually these toxic drugs make you take them regularly to forget things temporarily, and within no time, you will end up seeing yourself as a drug addict, alcoholic, or sometimes even bedridden too! It isn't a trend to become alcoholics after breakups. Those all look apt in the fictional flicks and all the movies based on true stories come with tragic endings.




Entertaining suicidal thoughts remain the ugliest places ever, a person may get lost and can never find the way out. If you feel like getting rid of all the attachments and threads of your life just because of one unloving person, then it's high time to recheck your priorities, ruminate the memories you made with others, cherish your talents and skills and most importantly, try to reach someone who matches your wavelength and understands you better. And if you can't do anything at all, just remain calm, grab a corner, breathe in and breathe out and wait patiently for another brand-new day which may bring you something good to make you feel better.




In the queer community, many queer couples are facing a lot of disturbances because of relationships. Rigidity in dating life, restricted environments, suffocating closeted statuses, judgmental society, demeaning criticism, lack of support, lack of communication, and understanding abilities are playing the major roles in forcing a person to explore the ugliest places. It's okay to get lost in those ugliest places, but instead of exploring till the dead ends, try focusing on the bright spots in those dark ugly places. Soon after you find something which makes you feel better for a while, try to find your way out to come out of those ugly places to find beautiful paths ahead in your life.




If having sex compels you to relieve from the thoughts of your ex, put a time limit to such exploration, and stop it soon after you get relieved. Don't get habituated. If a bottle of whiskey can make your problems disappear, then everyone is a happy soul. Stop believing that two pegs of alcohol can make you forget your ex. That's a cliche. Drink but don't become an alcoholic. That's a dangerous dead end. Finally, if you take your life for someone else and think that you can win over that person, society always seizes you as a loser and also you may miss some beautiful moments in your upcoming life, Try to live and prove yourself better. Because some dead ends can swallow in their darkness and never let you find your way out forever and ever!




#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #queerdatinglife #queerstruggles #pridemonth2020