You don't have to google it if you don't know about it. Gaslighting is all about manipulating and trying to make other people feel doubtful about their existence by degrading their self-esteem levels. It is one kind of emotional abuse where it takes time for a person to realize the whole scenario. If your partner is too self-centred, then you may observe these gaslighting behavioural patterns when you start losing yourself. It is toxic for sure and if you are in a relationship with a person who makes you devalue yourself, then you must recognize the whole manipulation in and around you.
Regardless of orientations and identities, many people are narcissistic these days, and even from the queer community, you find way too many homosexual men as typically self-absorbed. It is not a stereotype, but most men tend to display these kinds of behavioural patterns towards their partners especially to prove their points right at any cost, even at the cost of their partner's mental health and emotional stability. But before the confrontation and deciding to step out of the relationship with such people, you need to realize those patterns. And that happens only when you observe changes in yourself.
You feel like sacrificing your individuality and without any knowledge of your own, you may end up depending on your partner's decision on every single perspective of your life and lifestyle.
You invariably end up trying to please your partner by accepting the mistakes you never commit and also you may stop defending yourself even though it isn't your mistake at all.
Surprisingly, you believe every manipulative move of your partner without checking the facts and sometimes you bear the guilt of your partner's mistakes on your shoulders.
Even though you possess all the facts, situations, and truth under your control, you feel like losing all the control when your partner twists the tale by goofing around with you. And before even realizing you end up doubting your integrity and authenticity of the sources from where you get to discover the truths.
You countlessly say sorry all the time without considering the limitations of apologizing for every minute aspect.
You stop prioritizing yourself and start idolizing your partner as your topmost priority even after getting treated no lesser than an emotional slave.
You feel weaker and opposite to your more dynamic, sturdy, and stubborn personality just because your partner manipulates you to believe that your existence doesn't matter the most in front of his/her presence.