Ways to know that you are dating a wrong queer person!

Queer is an umbrella term of all the sexual orientations other than heterosexuality. Everyone from the LGBTQIA+ community can be tagged as a queer person. There are many combinations of queer couples in this community. A bisexual can be with a gay or a lesbian. A lesbian can be with a pansexual, and a gay man can be with a transgender person. An asexual can hang out with a bisexual too. There are no rules and regulations regarding the pairing combinations in the queer community, unlike heterosexuals where straight men have straight women as their only options to get engaged in every possible way.




When there is high flexibility in any aspect, there are chances for a few drawbacks too. Not every queer person act, behave, love, hate, adjust, in the same manner. Some people are queer-friendly, some don't like to be tagged as queer, some are phobic to other sexual orientations, some are introverts and some are activists. Like how the queer community is a whole bunch of various sexual orientations, there are various kinds of queer personalities. Not everyone is fortunate enough to get a perfect queer partner, some end up with wrong queer partners who don't even appreciate the factor of being queer. There are a few ways that enable a person to know whether one's partner is right or wrong for him/her, especially in the aspect of queerness.




Is your partner always complaining about your dressing sense, your appearance, and the portrayal of your queer identity in society? Is he restricting you often to not to wear androgynous clothes to cover up the fact that you are effeminate? Is she delivering lectures to you about being a feminist and restrict your fluidity in lesbianism? Then yes, you are dating a wrong queer person. It doesn't mean that your partner is wrong for you completely, but he/she surely the one who can't handle the extremes of your sexual orientation especially in public spaces.




Some people are too concerned about public appearances. They always tell their partners that they are being too gay or too lesbian. Well, such terms don't exist. But they come up with this kind of terminology to demotivate their partners to explore their sexual orientations deeply. If your partner tells you every time that you are way beyond what you are in showcasing your sexual orientation, then your partners is a wrong queer person for you.


Are you a gay couple and your partner always degrades transgenders or any other sexual orientations by throwing sarcastic comments every time you go for a queer event? A true queer person always respects and loves other queer orientations too, like how he loves his sexual orientation. But if your partner is completely partial to one orientation and throws demeaning tantrums to others, then yes, he is a wrong queer partner.




Just because your partner doesn't like to participate in queer events and pride parades, doesn't mean he is a wrong queer person. He only becomes wrong if he/she restricts you to participate and get along with other queer crowd. A true queer person always allows his partner to explore the queer community and understand it with or without his presence beside his partner.


You don't have to contribute a hell lot of money as a part of the charity to various organizations. You can contribute to the community in any possible way. Many people share their knowledge and experiences with other queer people through various platforms to work for the upliftment of the queer community. And if this particular aspect irks your partner, then he/she is a wrong queer person.




Sexual orientations belong to the personal life of a person. There is no need of including one's sexuality in professional spaces but that doesn't mean one is not allowed to support a fellow queer person at workplaces. If your partner is a biggie and earns a lot of money, but refuses to help a fellow queer person regarding any issue, then he/she is completely an immoral queer person.


Supporting each other in the queer community is one aspect which is much needed for every queer person to excel in society to bring the normality and if your partner gets embarrassed by other queer orientations and pass on judgments like other people, then he is a wrong queer person. Simply, if your partner supports other mean people who point out a particular sexual orientation of the queer community, then he/she is precisely a wrong one in the aspect of queerness.



Being a homosexual or a bisexual, if your partner is trans-phobic and hate transgenders, then you must give a thought about being with your partner. Because transgenders play a prominent role in the queer community. If your partner feels disgusted with the cross-dressers or drag queens, then that's a bad sign and he/she is a wrong queer person for you.

Treating a fellow queer person in a devaluing manner is a terrible mistake any queer person could commit. Understanding, engaging, and respecting other queer orientations, is important and that makes any queer person respect, love, protect, understand, communicate with one's partner without judging.




You can change your partner in various ways, but if your partner resists respecting other queer people and restricts you to explore your orientation, then it's high time to bid a bye to that person. Because to excel in life, a queer person must be with another true queer person to explore the paths of being queer!


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