There are various kinds of anxiety disorders but anxiety regarding one's performance to fulfill any kind of task is different from the typical anxiety disorders. Unlike other anxiety disorders, performance anxiety doesn't have to be treated with intense medication and meditation. Though it is difficult, you can treat yourselves easily, if you can focus on your moods properly.
Stage fright is completely different from sexual performance anxiety. A person feels comfortable in sharing his stage fright situation with others, before any public speaking events or before committing to any work. But people find it difficult, embarrassing, and degrading to share about their sexual performance anxiety issues. This is because sex is still getting considered as a taboo, and talking about it, makes a person feel weakened among others. But if a person these intimate anxiety issues, there are chances of facing many other medical situations. We all know prevention is better than cure. Hence, we all must focus on how to handle our sexual performance anxiety issues instead of getting swallowed up by those invisible anxious vibes.
Firstly, stop treating sex as an Olympic game. You aren't supposed to get a medal for your country by participating in sexual encounters. Take it easy. Prepare yourself and your mind, that it's just a physical activity to relieve your stress or an emotional activity to form a good connection. Forget about winning and losing. Don't stress about rights and wrongs. Always, remember, you can never attain perfection until you fail a hell number of times.
Accept the fact mentally, that it is okay to do things wrong in bed and get messed up while performing any sensual act. Fulfilling sexual fetishes and fantasies aren't easy. Though you prepare well for the act, sometimes things may go wrong and you may fail at committing the exact act you pictured in your mind. Don't make the situation overshadow you. Just try for the next time, instead of feeling bad for the past trails.
Do you think all the porn stars film, the whole twenty-minute video in exactly twenty minutes? Hell, No. They aren't gods. They are just bold humans who have sex on cameras amidst the cast and crew. It's their job, like the work you do. So stop comparing yourself with porn stars and most importantly, stop imitating them. And it's not only about porn stars. Don't compare yourself with anyone. Just because your friend tells you that he is having a great sex life, doesn't mean there's complete truth in it. So, why get worried by comparing your sex life with others?
You are a different human with different pros and cons. Hence, choose the sex positions, which you can perform. Most of us fail at choosing perfect positions and sensual acts because we are curious about trying everything. This makes a person try the difficult ones and surely one would fail at them. This indeed degrades a person's ability to perform a particular position. This demotivates and throws the person into the pool of performance anxiety for the next sex session. Sex is like a game, so don't skip or jump the levels.
Don't try to be a pro at every kind of sensual act to impress your sexual partners. If you are good at kissing, stick to that. Don't force yourself to commit something which you don't know and don't like. Some people don't like a rimming ass or eating pussy. But they try to impress their partners. It is okay to try, but don't give up or don't consider yourself as a low performer in bed, if you can't be able to pull a particular act. Be proud of yourself, that you are trying to blend in with the sensual flow in bed.
Don't over-prepare and don't under prepare too. Try to balance it out by keeping yourself at a par level before having sex with your partners. Never try to impress but always try to express. Know your moves and be confident about performing those moves sensually instead of trying sexual adventures at the beginning of your sex session. Because if you fail at initial points, you feel demotivated and next time, you feel doubtful about your moves. Leave the experiments to the end and start the session with the moves you are confident about.
Don't imagine a particular person all the time and don't imagine how you would perform if your dream partner or crush or any sex partner, stand naked in front of you. This will make your situation worse. Sometimes your imaginations and reality don't match at all. You may imagine a lot to do with that person but have control over your imaginations. Premature ejaculations can be caused by excessive sensual imaginations. And of course, they have their effect on one's performance.
Breathing exercises do help you for sure but do them before having sex, not in front of your sex partner. Prepare yourself for having a good sensual experience but don't pressurize yourself to give a great sexual experience for your partner. Psychologically, be selfish in getting what you want, because this indeed helps you to give your partner a good sexual experience. If you focus on your sex partner's needs completely, then you can't appreciate your sexual desires and in the end, you feel nothing. There are chances that you may consider that feeling of nothingness as your poor performance.
Don't overthink at all. Don't assume that your partner doesn't like what you attempt in bed. If you feel doubtful, just ask him/her how he/she feels. Make sure that you are going well instead of assuming your partner's feelings. Always remember, if someone likes your sensual performance, they moan or look in a teasing way or they make you do more by asking for it. If someone doesn't like it, then they become silent, pre-occupied, pass a fake smile or hurry things up. Act, according to the signs.
Moreover, don't think that everyone should like your sexual performance. Some may like your behavior and some may not. Don't blame yourself for other's opinions. Be good with your sensual moves and leave everything to get unfolded naturally. Take control over moods and don't let your assumptions control you. These things may help you to fight with your sexual performance anxiety issues and make you feel confident.