That twisted pinch in your heart when you get to know about your ex's wedding is quite relatable. Regardless of the number of exes you have and how detached you feel from them after moving on in your romantic life, soon after hearing that your ex is getting married, a weird blended emotion pops up which is indescribable indeed but of course later on you make peace with the news, though.
But if you are someone whose very recent ex or the ex whom you loved the most, encounter your ex's wedding situation, many things run parallelly in your mind and sometimes situations may go uncontrolled. In such moments, you may behave which extremely definitely makes you feel guilty and regret it later. Hence, it is significant to know how to handle such a delicate situation after hearing something you never expect or intend to overhear.
Breathe in deeply and exhale until the news slowly gets digested in your system soon after you hear it. If you accidentally encounter your ex's wedding pictures on social media, don't freak out and comment out your insecurity on their posts as it's such a disgusting move directly message or drunk dial to spit your venom. Relax and try to comprehend the fact.
Check whether the news is true or just a rumour from your source, especially if it is a secondary source. (mutual friends, cousins, colleagues or random strangers)
If your primary source, which is your ex himself or herself delivers the news to you, take a moment and carry out the most possible neutral reaction because if you freak out or express your fake excitement, conversations go badly. So stay calm and bear the news as if it doesn't bother you at all.
If it's the ex with whom you maintain a righteous equation and healthy relationship, then extend your true support by spilling your happiness for the news you just heard. Simultaneously, maintain some limitations in celebrating your ex's wedding news so much. No matter how ethical you both remain as just friends after being lovers in the past, there's always a limitation because you can't be your ex's partner again and you don't hold the same level of rapport as you used to have during your relationship days. So it's better to maintain a good distance from your ex's wedding matters, for your mental peace.
If it's the ex with whom you eternally maintain that confused equation of being on and off, even after breaking up without maintaining the proper clarity about the existence of your ex in your life, then it's hard to tackle the news because you fall into the loop of a dilemma;
You don't know whether to feel happy or sad about your ex's wedding.
You either can't support it completely or can't deny it extremely in terms of accepting the news.
You suddenly act weird and make it pretty visible sometimes with your ambivalent feelings.
You feel like stopping the wedding but at the same time, you equally feel like surrendering your ex to his/her marital life.
You feel curious to know whom your ex is about to get married to.
You develop unnecessary anxiety but calm yourself down after realising the reality.
You suddenly feel the urge of talking about the past with your ex to remind your relationship memories to make him/her think about you again but also feel like an idiot after talking to your ex especially when you hear the news of your ex's wedding.
All these are common instincts a person may feel for one's ex but at the same time knows that it would never work out with that ex. But the wedding news of this kind of ex may cause you mixed feelings. It's always pleasanter to accept reality and abandon the unnecessary thoughts instead of allowing yourself to commit a blunder in your romantic life. When you are confused, it means you don't desire it. So if you feel both good and bad regarding your ex's wedding, then it specifies that your emotional personality feels complex to accept the fact whereas your practical personality already gradually makes peace with such news. Get along with your practical personality and never give yourself a chance to portray disappointment and distress about your ex's wedding.
If you don't appreciate your ex at all and indeed still hate that person because of the past and how you can never forget how that person has treated you before, then soon after you hear the news of his/her wedding from someone else, other than you ex; pass a smile and leave it off then and there because discussing even a minute detail about it with other people would be a vast waste of time. But if your demeaning ex informs about his/her wedding to you directly, then utter two phrases and cut the conversation. "Happy Married Life and Never Contact Me Again" is all enough to end it on a courteous note.
Some sadistic exes purposely reach us to reveal their wedding news just to make us uncomfortable and to enjoy our reactions, especially when they know that such news affects us. If that's the situation, don't react and stay silent because it's the best reaction so that your ex would back off. Any kind of hysterical reaction like frustration, anger, sadness, tears, fights, arguments, dissing, scolding or even expressing your fake delight, can be turned into an entertainment aspect to such people. So don't provide them the chance to get entertained by you when he/she gets wedded to someone else.
Next follows the kinds of exes we all have, who become suddenly lovable, attentive, cute, sweet, behave nicely, try to reach you out by keeping an effort, and become and act like our current partners. These are the most uncertain ones because they bring the news of their weddings decorated with all kinds of sugar coats to keep themselves away from unnecessary drama to have a smooth wedded life ahead with their brides or grooms.
There are two kinds of exes in this type; one who doesn't want to have any kind of contact post-wedding and the other who still likes to remain in touch for extramarital benefits.
If you have that ex who approaches you sweetly by delivering his/her wedding news and request you to delete the memories virtually and personally, then even though you don't want to delete make sure your ex knows and believes that you are never going to cause any trouble. But if you are the person who wants to create trouble, you must understand that you gain nothing out of it except wasting your time, energy and sources. Revenge cannot make you happy, but empathy for forgiveness does. Also, inform your ex to never approach you and nudge him/her to respect your privacy. Wish him/her good and try to discard it as soon as you can.
If you have that ex who approaches you with one's wedding news by adding the phrases like, " I still love you", "I'm gonna miss you badly", or "I don't know how I'm going to be happy in this marriage with someone else other than you", "I want us to be together even after my wedding", "I can't leave you like this but I'm destined to get married forcefully" etc., that depicts an image of him/her marrying out of no interest, then you should know one thing for sure; you can under no circumstances be his/her priority and will be considered as just a sex partner because wedding bond has the power to diminish any kind of bonds outside the marriage.
So, kindly don't fall for such kinds of phrases and don't remain a fool. After all, you deserve someone who fights against all odds to stand for you regardless of any situation in life. These exes aren't worth anger, disappointment, distress, jealousy, insecurity, hatred, avenge and even kindness too. Be neutral by wishing them happiness and prosperity as a broad-minded adult and a sympathetic human who is aware of limitations and boundaries.
This wedding season, be strong and prepared to receive the news of your ex's wedding wisely.