Ways to get along with your queer siblings easily!
More than being accepted, any queer person loves being understood especially by their dearest people like siblings with whom they share almost everything and spend days and nights together with the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood. If you are blessed (definitely, a blessing) with a sibling who is queer, then it becomes a little hard for you to perceive and understand, specifically if you are straight. Regardless of being open or closeted to society, your queer sibling always comes out clean and never wants to hide one's sexuality and gender identity. But the question is, are you the person who truly supports your sibling and stands as a protective shield against judgmental criticism?
Unfortunately, many queer people can't be able to find that comfort zone with their brothers and sisters because of too many stereotypical societal norms. Even though if one comes out as queer, many heterosexual siblings find it difficult to digest the fact and accept it, let alone provide the support. It is distressing for every queer person out there who lacks support from one's dearest brother, sisters, and cousins because talking to parents and elders is more difficult than talking to your siblings. But if a queer teenager or an adult doesn't have a chance to anyone that is closely related to him/her/them, then that particular scenario is torturous to imagine.
If your brother or sister finds oneself as queer in terms of gender identity other than male and female and sexual orientation other than heterosexuality, then you must understand the broadening spectrum of the world around you and try to comprehend everything about your queer sibling. And this surely doesn't happen in a single day. You need to face hurdles emotionally and also face society psychologically to lend your unconditional love and support for someone who looks up to you to understand better than anyone else in the world.
Try to develop your sibling to feel comfortable in your presence even though you both look at things differently, especially in terms of interests and preferences.
Take the queerphobia out of you and all the theories that were forced to believe since your childhood by typical society because all of that is the narrow-mindedness and nothing else.
Don't sound as if you are granting some favor in terms of supporting your gay brother or lesbian sister. After all, you remain his/her brother or sister and you need to embrace that sibling factor.
It is not your responsibility to stand with your queer sibling but in the role of a brother or a sister, you need to perceive the person as a fellow human being with whom you grew and brought up together.
Maintain secrecy and allow privacy to your queer siblings. This shows the mark of respect and giving space to your loved ones.
Never in your lifetime utter statements that sound demeaning regarding your sibling's queerness and the differences you find in behavioral patterns and appearances.
Don't threaten your siblings to expose their sexuality to your parents, relatives, and friends to manage your things executed. This is like taking someone's identity for granted and playing with one's emotions and feelings. It devalues your position in your queer sibling's mind.
Make sure you always be there whenever your queer sibling is in dire need of your presence and existence, be it in person or any other form. Because when a person finds things difficult, one always looks out for a shoulder to lean on. Your shoulder must endure the one that comes into your sibling's priority to get along emotionally.
There will be a lot of consequences when your queer sibling comes out of the closet to society, family, and friends. Hence, you need to be that person who must let the world be aware that you heretofore know and embrace the fact because this surely nullifies the judgmental criticism your sibling may face in the future.
Talk and try to sort out issues instead of ignoring and suppressing your queer sibling's wishes, desires, hopes, and mostly needs. Nothing essential in this world has to do anything with sexuality and identity. So, never demean your queer sibling in terms of career and lifestyle choice, and of course, you have all the right to stop your sibling if he/she/they try to jump into hazardous paths. But never restrict in letting your sibling explore the world as a true queer person.
You may not understand the whole lifestyle but if you ask, your sibling says every detail about one's queer lifestyle scenario. Communicate and initiate the excitement of understanding because, at the end of the day, every person wants to be known especially by their close ones.
Don't let societal norms, social influences, and psychological assumptions affect the bond between you and your queer sibling. Always remember one thing; society hasn't shared your mother's womb but your sibling surely did and it is important to prioritize your brotherhood or sisterhood over society. And this particular attitude towards your queer sibling makes him/her form undeniable trust towards you.
You may find it odd, awkward, and weird to get to know a few sexual terms, gender terms, physical appearances, behavioral patterns, social situations, relationship scenarios, dating lifestyle, and even clubbing scenes of your queer sibling. But instead of restricting yourself to get involved socially with your sibling, try to explore the queer world through your sibling's eyes so that it will become easier for you to perceive the things in the queer community and ultimately you feel better being yourself with your queer sibling even when you are surrounded by thousands of queer people in a pride march.
There's always a point to take initiation, if you cross it, you end up feeling happy by making your queer sibling feel happy for being there as a true queer ally.
And in the end, from being a typical heterosexual brother or sister to your queer sibling, you become a truly understanding queer ally, not only to your sibling but to the whole queer community of the world. Imagine your understanding ability towards your queer sibling can change the whole vibe in the world around you beautifully even though you face criticism while exploring and perceiving your sibling. Prove that brotherhood and sisterhood are better than unnecessary hatred!
