top of page

Ways to get along with your dating life if you are a closeted queer single!

Amidst these broadening changes in the queer community and an infinite amount of queer love vibes everywhere in the world, being a closeted queer single is one kind of a complex task. Because it's hard for a person to remain closeted when everyone around celebrates their queerness by coming out and being themselves as queer as possible. Needless to say, every closeted queer person has his/her/their reasons for not coming out as queer and announce one's true sexual orientations.

Unfortunately, there is one more stigma that has recently attacked the inner queer community where closeted people aren't being treated equally with the open queer people. There is a slight microaggression towards closeted queer people and the coming out status has become one kind of an important aspect in the queer dating scenario. It becomes challenging for a closeted queer person to get along with one's discreet dating life and if the person is single, then it gets even worse. Hence, one must know a few ways to shape up one's dating life regardless of one's coming out status and relationship status.

  • Firstly, try to accept the closed exposure instead of giving it too much of a thought. When you are closeted, everything around you becomes restricted and confined to very few things. You can't expect your dating horizon to broaden up when you have decided to remain closeted. So, accept your coming-out status, and even though you are not happy about it, try to keep your spirits high because you are closeted for a reason!

  • You need to come out and you will come out as queer one day but don't let anyone rush you up because, in the end, you need to face the consequences in every possible way. So, if you are a closeted queer single when someone forces you to come out first for the sake of dating them. Balance out the pros and cons regarding your dating life. That gives you a clear perspective on whether your decision of coming out is worth being with that particular person or not.

  • If someone can't accept you the way you are and someone can't understand your critical situation of being a closeted queer person, then you must not consider that person as your deserving dating partner. It's okay to remain single for some more time instead of getting into someone who validates you based on your coming-out status. Don't get committed for the sake of stepping out of singlehood. You may end up messing your dating life.

  • At the same time, if you want to date someone open to society regarding one's sexual orientation and gender identity, you need to be flexible enough to alter some of your closeted terms because at one point, there arises a situation where you have to be there for your partner as his/her/their romantic interest. So, even though you remain as a closeted queer single, if your dating type is open queer people, then you need to open up yourself a bit.

  • Your dating preferences, tastes, likes and dislikes, everything affects your closeted queer personality. Being single in the queer community, you encounter a lot of people, both open and closeted. You need to be clear enough to prefer your dating partners and make sure you meet the terms of others. Just because you are closeted, you don't have to feel degraded and act submissive to anyone.

  • Instead, try to look out for someone who is a closeted queer single like you. It becomes for you both to understand each other's situations and get along with each other's priorities, family pressures, and professional commitments. This indeed lets you travel together and make you stronger to come out as a strong queer couple. Whom else do you need than someone who thinks, acts, and understands the way you do. Always remember, if you don't appreciate yourself and your situation, nothing and no one can make you feel good.

  • If you remain a closeted queer single, there are high chances for people to consider you as a typical heterosexual single person, especially family, friends, and colleagues at the workplace. And this baseless assumption takes a toll on your dating life especially when you constantly get approached by the wrong people or the wrong gender. To clear this misperception, you need to deny your proposals or simply throw hints to people by saying that you are not at all interested in dating a particular set of people. This may raise doubts in people's minds but no one spill it out until you come out of your closet. So, be smart at dealing with people around you so that you hit the right crowd and can spice up your dating life.

  • You can be closeted and can still be open about your feelings and emotions to someone whom you trust. Of course, hooking up with people from the queer community make you explore your orientation deeply. But instead of getting into one-night stands, try meeting people even though it's for sex. Make conversations, develop intimacy and cherish good times with people from the community. There is no rule you have to be committed to doing all these things. You can remain as single as much as you want and can still embrace your emotions.

But if you remain single just because you can't come out of the sexual orientation closet, then it is a wrong approach towards your dating life. Your closeted status should never affect your relationship status. The more you open up, the more things get available to you. Look out for someone with whom you can be you but make sure you portray your personality and initiate things as a closeted queer person, then everything falls in the right place.

bottom of page