Yeah, that's the fancy word to define quite argumentative and uncooperative people. Yes, these people do exist and somehow manages to get into romantic relationships. Some people become one, during the relationship but some people are too particular regarding this grumpy trait and they let their partners show their real side before getting into a proper relationship.
First and foremost, no one likes to date a fighter cock and no one likes to imagine being in a relationship with someone who always needs something to pick an argument. But that doesn't mean one can't fall in love with such a person and if you are a person who likes the crankiness in your partner, then you must appreciate your patience levels. If you treat this particular trait as just one of the characteristics of your partner, then you can be happy in your relationship. But if you completely focus on the aspect of bad temper, then it becomes difficult especially when you face a few extreme situations.
Here are some of the ways you need to know to deal with your cantankerous partner when he or see feels utmostly agitated:
Never assume or come to the conclusion that you are the end reason for your partner's grumpy mood and at the same time, don't take the situation for granted and behave as if you have nothing to do with his/her sudden change of moods. Try balancing the act by just posing a basic question, "Did I do something"? (puppy face would work.)
The levels of agitation can sometimes go beyond the limit. Don't leave or don't interrupt. Just stay calm and give the proper space your partner requires to calm himself/herself down, though he or she doesn't ask for it. It should be applied both personally and virtually.
No one gets irritated without a reason and if you think your partner gets irritated unnecessarily, then you must dig an underlying story that causes him or her to feel uncomfortable. Love is all about understanding and that can be done only when you communicate with your partner properly. A hearty hug, sometimes a forceful hug especially when he or she is screaming on top of his or her voice, a deep concerning stare, and a face of assurance of being there for your partner, make wonders in split seconds. Try it!
Some people suffer from psychological disorders like PTSD, anxiety issues, bipolar disorder, and OCD(s). Try to acknowledge them and manage the situation without taking the name of a particular disorder, especially when you think your partner is hitting his/her extremes in being cranky. Instead of telling your partner that he is anxious and he must calm down, you can also do the same thing without uttering those phrases and by just telling him to take a deep breath and calm down!
If you think, a particular work or situation or a word or a movie or a person or a place, make your partner lose his temper, then try to avoid such people or places or situations. But at the same time, you must also try to make your partner realize that he/she needs to get through some people or some situations to make himself/herself stronger and better. It's all about supporting and facing a moment together.
Every person comes with a story and if you can understand and act accordingly, you can easily get along with anyone. The same thing is applied to people who get grumpy unnecessarily. Recognize the story and give your signature twist by making your partner forget all the shit and yeah it takes time but you can try with your love.
Try protecting them when someone comments on your partner for his cantankerous behavior. Sometimes your defensive behavior may bring change in him and make him understand your value and support. Who knows his agitation levels may decline gradually just to make sure you shouldn't feel bad because of him.
Sometimes saying phrases like "I'm sorry", "It's okay", "I can understand" can bring out a tremendous change in any situation. Because no matter however you try, one can't win over argumentative people as they can find unlimited ways to prove their point right. So instead of arguing, wrapping up with one-liners may save time, energy, and efforts of getting back together after a huge fight.
You must be positive when it comes to handling a cantankerous person, but that doesn't mean you need to encourage those scratchy moods all the time. If you feel your partner is going to commit a grave mistake out of his/her behavior, you must confront and negotiate the situation. Sometimes, you need to argue back, shout back, and scream back and there are many chances that your partner may understand you and calm down, not quickly though, but gradually.
If you feel it as an effort to deal with your uncooperative partner, then it could be a burden for you but if you consider handling your partner's moods as one of your adorable tasks, then you can beautifully build up a relationship. A positive approach can make an unmanageable dating life into a bearable lifetime bond.
In the end, if you still find your dating partner as overtly quarrelsome and deeply perverse, no matter how hard you try to manage his or her cranky moods, then you must let him/her set free by breaking the bond.