Our society is typically stereotypical. No one knows who laid such lame rules and regulations in the aspect of dressing, behavioral patterns, lifestyle choices, career choices to each sex, every gender, every sexual orientation. Well, these ridiculous separations making people prove themselves now and then, just to make sure their existence matters. Like, a girl always gets forced to prove she knows household chores though she is capable of ruling a country. And a man always needs to be strong no matter what, he shouldn't shed a tear in public, isn't it a lame thing to even imagine? But, in this millennial era, people have successfully crossed all these sexist segregations and gender discrimination mostly in many parts of the world.
But our world never runs out of stereotyping people. Hence, they started expecting people to behave, dress, work, and lead a lifestyle according to their respective sexual orientations. Who wants to read a book which tells how a person must behave in every possible way according to one's sexual orientation? Sorry, the book is unavailable. No person has even written it. And most importantly, constitutions never laid such regulations for a person, at least Dr. B.R. Ambedkar didn't include such weird regulations.
Then who are these stereotypical people who always poke in other's issues? Who are they to say, that transgenders aggressively loot money or just end up as sex workers? Who are they to expect a gay man to wear just flashy colors and nothing more? Who are they to throw an opinion that bisexual women cheat on their husbands? Who are they to tell lesbians can never get married and make babies? There are hundreds of the stereotypical opinions revolve around every single sexual orientation, especially the ones who come under the queer community! Because the heterosexuality has already got stereotypical by the people single ages. That's why most of the straight men are dominating, and most of the straight women are forced to stick to the post of housewives!
Did anyone of your friends has ever told you that you don't look like a gay or lesbian? What's looking like a gay? Do we need carrying a flashy rainbow horn on our heads to represent the unicorn appearance all time? "You don't look like Gay; this one statement irks off many homosexuals out there and this is the reason why they always get forced to prove their orientation by constantly telling the world that they are gay! There is no rule that all gays must opt the androgynous fashion statements or show interest in shimmery, glittery, and flashy stuff. There is no rule that guys with long hair and piercings who identify themselves as non-binary, must be gays at the end of the day! Just because of this stereotype, the term called "Straight-looking Gay or Lesbian" has evolved. Isn't it too demeaning to mention and include the heterosexuality to identify a homosexual?
What does this term suggest? A homosexual whose appearance, dressing, behavioral patterns, and lifestyle choices match a heterosexual male or female! Boom... The most pessimistic scenario ever explained in history! This is a stereotypical chain where it has started with regulating heterosexuals with a few particular patterns and thrusting at them on homosexuality too! So, if a man wears a pale blue shirt, walks stiff and maintains proper hair cut, beard, and mustache who does a monotonous 9 to 5 job and take care of his family, then is there any rule that man should be heterosexual? Well, this is the basic perception many people consider and force their opinions on homosexuals too. Hence, if a man looks like a heterosexual and says he is gay, without any second thought, people throw the statement, "But you don't look like Gay!"
Unfortunately, a similar scenario can be seen in lesbians too! When we consider lesbian orientation in mind, people just imagine a girl who resembles a man. We expect that girl must represent a tomboy who walks like she doesn't give a damn, who dresses like no lesser than a man, whose color choices are mostly black and blue, whose lifestyle choices never match with any ideal woman. Then what about the femme lesbians who look exactly like a typical woman with long hair and feminine chic fashion sense? Yes, femme lesbians are the ones who face the stereotypes of getting identified as a lesbian. Because unlike the butch lesbians, these are very feminine and this is the reason people expect and assume these women must end up with a man. How ridiculous it is? So, a girl who is with long hair, wears a traditional Indian sari, who loves to work from home as a freelancer, can never be a lesbian and date another girl, just because she resembles a heterosexual woman?
All these so-called "Straight-looking homosexuals" are the ones who are getting judged for being themselves and come out as gay or lesbian. Because of the various fashion and lifestyle choices, people have formed an opinion that all guys who wear crop tops, apply makeup and get into creative careers are gays and all girls who dress up in black hoodies, well built with strong personalities and are lesbians. Then what about the men and women who are homosexuals but with other career choices than being in the fashion industry and whose personalities are sensitive and graceful?
The sad part is, all these simple-looking men and women who are homosexuals are getting untreated as a fellow homosexual by many people in gay and lesbian communities. If sexes and gender identities have nothing to with orientations, do you think that appearances, dressing sense, and career choices matter, to identify a person as homosexual? So, when someone throws you this statement by saying you don't look gay. Simply answer them that they don't look like humans and it is a wonder you can still understand their phrases! Simple and sassy! You don't need to come out every week by saying you are gay or hold a rainbow flag to let the world know that you are gay or lesbian!