To all the people who think Gays are attention seekers!

If you are reading this, you must have felt related to the title, and most importantly, you must have faced this most common stereotype against the queer community, especially gays. Homosexuality is always considered as a phase or a disease or if people can't convince you with both of these, they attack with this attention-seeking phrase, because psychologically this phrase causes a person give more attention than required. Hence, this is why, most homophobic people use this phrase against the gay community.




Will a heterosexual person ever accept that he/she is an attention seeker because of his/her sexual orientation? Never, because of the world, being straight is normal. Then why do gays have to accept they are attention seekers? Sexual orientations are completely personal, and no one wants any attention for their sexualities. People unnecessarily give attention to the effeminate guys and in return portray them as attention seekers. Most importantly heterosexual women feel that gays are attention seekers just because some of them behave in a feminine way and dress up against the typical dress regulations of men's wear.




If a heterosexual couple holds hands or kiss in public, that is considered as absolutely normal and too adorable. But, if a gay couple moves closely with each other and kiss in public, people manipulate it as either abnormal or too special that they give full attention to the scene and picture it to post it on social networking apps. Nowadays, celebrity straight marriages are generating less impact than gay marriages around the world. Gay weddings around the world are receiving too much unusual attention and it is quite encouraging though and creating a huge impact on the world to bring the change. Now think carefully, who is giving attention? Do any of those homosexual couples ask for such peculiar attention from people around the world? No one asks for it, except people who still consider gay weddings are rare. The normality in the gay community visible only when gays consider themselves normal and also when people take them as normal, not special or rare or unique or abnormal or unnatural.





Gender identities make a person prefer one's dressing attributes and many other choices. Not every gay is effeminate, and not every feminine guy is gay. There are plenty of guys who dress up in typical men's wear and claim themselves as gays. The gay community not only consists of effeminate gays. Because of this foolish assumption, people formed an opinion that gays are attention seekers. No effeminate guy requests you to look at his gestures, postures, talking style, walking style, dressing sense, and crave for everyone's validation around him. It's you who give unnecessary attention to something which you must consider as very normal in this modern era.




Why do you stare at a guy who has a chic fashion sense, holding shopping bags and roam around the cafes and restaurants and enjoy his lifestyle? What does your stare suggest? And, is there any rule that only girls or women claim the patent rights to shop and roam around the city with sophisticated style? Instead of understanding the feminine nature and attributes in a fellow human being, many women stare, pass comments, throw judgments, laugh on effeminate gays, and stereotype when they come across gay couples by tagging them as attention seekers. Is it the femininity or the aspect of public display of affection among gay couples making you think that gays are attention seekers? Or else it is a mere form of insecurity?




People who don't achieve enough attention for the work they do, for the style they maintain or even for the personality they carry, are the ones who complain more about others and others' personalities. This psychological low feeling about one's self portrays others as attention seekers in every possible way. For your insecurity, do you think is it fair to generalize the whole gay community and spread irrelevant opinions to restrict the freedom of expression of a person? Indeed, your one stare, your one comment, your teasing laughs will make a person lose the confidence and think about his personality again and again? If you don't understand the aspects of gender identities and sexual orientations, you don't have any right to pass judgment, because if you understand them, you will never degrade a person.




So, your attention out of your insecurity and curiosity is labeling a person as an attention seeker and sadly, it has nothing to do with the other person. Not all attention seekers are gays and not every gay is an attention seeker. Some of them crave for attention and behave erratically in public to show off their proud personalities or riches, that doesn't mean you should generalize the whole community. If that's the case, every heterosexual man must be considered as a rapist and every heterosexual woman must be considered as a submissive dependent. Stereotypes born out of generalizations based on fragile opinions.


And there is one more adorable generalization which makes many women, stereotype that all the cute guys end up as gays. That is so untrue. You can't even imagine some of the macho men who are amazingly gays and hence, don't consider every cute guy as gay and every manly guy as straight. Ask them and try knowing them first, without coming to a conclusion which makes you portray yourself as a mean stereotype!



#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #breakingstereotypes #queerlifestruggles #gayculture