Tips to understand the behavior of your queer kid!
It's for you, you as in a mother, father, or sibling of a queer kid in your very home abode because you are the only ones that are important and others don't matter, especially when it comes to accepting, encouraging, and empowering the queerness of your kid. To do all of these, one must interpret the typical behavior of a queer kid so that one can perceive how a queer kid must be brought up without getting affected by others.
Speaking of others, erase that typical mindset which you always think about convincing society in terms of getting along with hypocrite people. When it comes to your kid, you don't have to think about others because you are the one who gave birth to your child, not others. You need to be sure that you should never get drifted away because of people's opinions and external influences. It is substantial to never let others' opinions affect your child's future personally and professionally too.
First, accept yourself as parents or siblings of a queer kid, then you can accept your kid's gender identity and sexual orientation. There's nothing here to be embarrassed about and on the contrary, you need to feel proud of giving birth to a queer kid who looks at things differently unlike other kids. Acceptance must come within you to accept others the way they are.
Make your child comfortable enough so that your kid portrays one's queer features visibly instead of concealing them. If you state things which he or she supposed to not hear and if you unknowingly lay restrictions especially regarding gender, there are high chances that your kid may do things in discreet mode and you never get to know his or her other side and gradually things may go out of your hands. So, to understand your queer kid, give an assurance that you don't judge him or her based on his or her behavior.
You never get to know that your kid is queer right after birth. You will get to know when he or she grows up to certain age and it all starts with watching their favorite cartoon, selecting their favorite dresses, and even choosing their idol in getting inspired towards doing anything like acting, dancing, and singing. Focus on these little details, so that gradually you can be able to get along with your queer kid.
Never restrict your kid to select what he or she wants, especially in toys and clothes. Of course, initially, you may flip out if your son or brother gets you a Barbie doll instead of a superman toy and you may feel shockingly surprised when your girl chooses all the typical boy clothes and always wants to carry a boy haircut. But instead of spilling your judgmental expression and restricting them, just give them what they want and follow their behavioral mannerisms from that point.
You can't conclude having a queer kid at home with one or two instances. Sometimes with the innocent influence of other kids, your kid may behave differently, but if you keep noticing these opposite gender choices and desiring for things that your kid typically shouldn't suppose ask for, then you can have a benefit of the doubt.
Soon after you realize, notice, and see behavioral changes in your kid (like a male kid choosing female clothing and a female kid behaving like a male kid) then you must confront them with utmost maturity. Instead of shouting, screaming, yelling, and scolding, try to take your boy or girl out to his or her favorite place and ask the ideology behind his or her choices.
Well, kids could be immature but they aren't brainless, so they know how they feel when they choose something they would like to have for themselves. So, if you ask them properly, they let you know about their feeling, how they like to live, how they like to dress up and how they like to play, and how they want to be called or referred to. So, be that mature parent to accept whatever your kid expresses, even though it is quite unacceptable in your family reign and the society you live in. Always remember, baby steps are difficult but they aren't impossible.
There's a difference between encouraging and spoiling, motivating and over pampering. Lay the regular restrictions exactly like how every parent lays on their kids, for their safety. Raising a queer kid is kind of a big deal. You have to face peer pressure, and your kids have to face the wrath of kids who bully regarding dressing and mannerisms. So, you must be capable enough to make your kid think and feel stronger to face society with utmost grace and acceptance.
Prepare your kid to accept the fact of his or her orientation, behavior, and identity is queer by assuring him or her that it is more than okay to be queer so that your queer kid won't feel left out at school, won't feel bad when someone tries to degrade him or her and most importantly, to make them accept themselves the way they are instead of self-restricting out of fear, disgust, shame, and anguish.
Understanding a queer kid sometimes makes you feel exhausted because when the world outside goes on one path, you need to travel on a different path but one thing, you are never alone because there are many queer kids out there and many parents who choose to go on that different path, just to make sure that their queer kids get treated normally and have a beautiful childhood to excel further. Your bringing up speaks volumes, and it affects your child's mentality too. So, make sure you don't lose your patience in this queer journey of your queer kid.
As mentioned earlier, nothing matters to your kid than having parents or siblings who understand him or her, who respect one's choices, and who values one's emotions and feelings. So, be that family member every queer kid could dream of, not the one who begets a queer kid's life, a living nightmare!
