Tips to notice the lack of respect in your queer relationship...
A relationship between two people can happen in many ways and can be based on many aspects but if a person misses the aspect of respect in a relationship, then it's hard for that person to survive in such a disrespectful relationship. Many of us don't focus on such aspects that reveal the diminishing or the shrinking level of respect in a relationship, but it is important to consider to provide meaning to one's relationship. You don't have to worship the feet of your partners, but you need to give and take some respect to maintain harmony in a relationship. Especially, if you are a couple from the queer community, then it is more important for you to focus on mutual respect because people from the LGBTQIA+ community still strive hard to make others respect and accept the way they are.
Little things do matter and if you don't realize or recognize them, they become bigger things which you can never handle and instead you end up your relationship. Every person knowingly or unknowingly disrespects one's partner in various situations. If it is a one-time thing, then you can confront and sort it out, but some people don't mind disrespecting their partners all the time. If you think you are stuck up at such a disrespectful queer relationship, then you must notice these things!
Lack of respect for your sexual orientation; your partner may just like your personality and your lifestyle but not your orientation. If your partner denies meeting your queer pals or throwing tantrums to others from the community with demeaning phrases, then he/she surely disrespects your orientation. Generally, this happens with a few transphobic bisexuals and people who don't accept the whole queer community. If you are a lesbian and if your bisexual girlfriend denies talking about your orientation or to the people from your orientation, then she lacks respect towards your sexuality.
Invasion of your private space; a couple is made of two different individuals with two different personalities. A couple can relish their relationship only when those two individuals respect each other's personalities and give each other individual space. If your boyfriend checking your social media profiles and the messages every single night right after you sleep, then without a benefit of the doubt, he surely doesn't respect your private space and hence, the invasion proves his disrespectful attitude. Strictly, you should take a stand to not allow any person, including your partner to invade your personal space.
Disrespecting your time; does your partner consistently cancel plans with you after a lot of planning and end up saying ridiculous excuses? Does your partner make you wait for hours and hours though he/she knows that you are punctual and regular? Is your partner constantly making you change the plan after wasting a lot of time in getting ready or keeping you on hold to confirm any plan? Well, if you think these are the little things, you can skip off, then one day you end up bursting like a water balloon with a lot of frustration. If your partner doesn't value your time and efforts, then he/she lacks respect for you.
Striking off your opinions; everyone is opinionated and if your partner considers you as a person who has to go with his/her opinion without any option left, then you are sharing your relationship with the wrong person. In the queer community, opinions do matter in evaluating various factors in and around the relationship. If your partner doesn't care about your opinion and always forces you to go with his/her opinion, then one day you lose your identity and may become a dependent person in the aspect of opinions. Don't drag the matter till it gets gravely serious. Respecting each other's opinions and going with one's, after a proper discussion of pros and cons, make a couple survive a relationship.
Cheating on your partner is as serious as not keeping the promises. If your partner fails to keep his word every time, when it comes to planning dates, calling you, meeting your friends, picking you up, and things which belong to your routine, then it is purely disrespecting you. It is okay if your partner breaks the promise of not taking you on a yearly vacation, but it is not at all fine if he doesn't keep his promise in being there for you when it is much needed.
Have you ever felt that you're not your boyfriend or girlfriend's priority? A relationship is a commitment that makes two people prioritize each other the most and if your partner behaves as if you are his last priority and if you start feeling it, try to confront your partner. If he/she doesn't mention you in his/her top three priorities, consider yourself out of the relationship. Simple!
We all do dirty talk, but that dirty talk must be erotic or sensual instead of disgusting or degrading. If your partner always tries to pull your legs with any kind of dirty talk in public or when you are with your or your partner's friends to demean your existence, then he/she doesn't respect you at all. Because a true couple will never degrade their partners or their ethical values or their body images. It is utterly disrespectful.
If your partner makes his goals, dreams, and passions as the important ones than yours, then you need to think about your relationship. A couple must strive hard to balance out each other in fulfilling the dreams without suppressing others. If your corporate boyfriend berates your artistic passions or if your feminist girlfriend doesn't care about your dancing career, then don't you think that your passions have no value in your partner's mind. Isn't it disrespectful?
On top of everything, if you ever feel that you are taken for granted, then it's true. Your partner must have taken an advantage of your giving personality and always keep you on the edge of sacrificing your physical abilities and mental efforts. You can feel it in any kind of relationship, but in a romantic relationship, you should never feel that you are being taken for granted. If he replies to your messages after many hours of receiving a text, if she purposefully does something which irks you off to test your patience levels, if he doesn't put any efforts by telling that you are good at planning things, if she talks behind you and portrays the bad side of your relationship though everything is going well if he considers you as someone who picks his things all the time if she is playing it safe and discreet if he is manipulating with sweet phrases just to escape from the moment, then yes, you are completely taken for granted and this is deep down, the most disrespectful thing in a relationship!
So, make sure you feel respected and loved, and also before complaining, check yourself twice regarding your behavior towards your partner. Sometimes, lack of respect can be sorted out but mostly, it's better to get rid of a person who disrespects you because that attitude will never change!
