You must feel love, lust, or infatuation in the air, not tension when you go on a date with someone whom you find online or get set up with. Generally, that's the motto behind you going out for dates, to embrace the physical, emotional, and sensual intimacy with someone you like. But what will you do, if the other person spills obsessive vibes than romantic vibes and never fails to scare the hell out of you with his/her/their insane futuristic plans and approaches?
It's hard to get rid of such people who think about serious commitments right after paying the bill on your second date. That's too much pressure almost for everyone, until and unless if you are too desperate to get along with such an obsessive person. Obsession leads to unnecessary commitments which indeed drive you towards committing regretful mistakes in your dating life. Hence, you need to know how to calm yourself and your dating partner to understand the reality around you.
Try to be as clear as possible regarding your ideologies on dating, love, and relationships, instead of hanging around casually. For you going out on a date could be a casual thing, but for some people, it might be a serious step. So, before things get terrible, it's always better for you to express what you want and how you see things to maintain clarity. Show your dating partner, a clear picture of how it would feel like hanging out with you.
Never get into serious life conversations in the initial stages of dating. If the other person is intense, then there are chances that your dating partner may already start planning for proposing to you for a live-in or simply ask your suggestion for wedding bands. So, be cautious enough about the conversations you strike.
You never know the obsessive side of a person in the first two meetings. Because obsession is like a slow poison, you will get to experience the real taste of it gradually. It all starts with communication. When you go on a date with someone, you don't have to maintain constant touch 24/7. You can get back to your world and behave as if nothing has happened. Of course, one or two phone calls here and there are fine, especially when it comes to planning the further dates. But, if a person starts trying to reach you out more often without thinking about your schedules and timings, then yeah it's a sign of obsession. Instead of disconnecting calls, try answering them especially to make the other person understand your commitments and priorities.
If a person calls you whenever he wants and whenever she feels like calling even in the middle of the night, then they must be handled with utmost care because they are obsessive glues and it may become difficult for you to tackle them later. Make them understand that you aren't ready for such late-night conversations or regular contacts or any kind of communication throughout the day, until and unless it is damn significant for either of the parties.
Obsession and love are two different concepts. Try to recognize and differentiate these two aspects. Don't get yourself misled by the other person's intense romantic phrases. And also if you feel the other person is getting obsessed with you, try to make that person understand that it isn't loving or romance, but a plain obsession over someone they like. If it's love, you will wait, you never rush. Obsession never makes you fall asleep because it always wants to rush things and force things to happen, no matter what.