Tips to handle your straight-acting ex partner...

Every queer person realizes and recognizes the fluidity of one's sexual orientation right from the childhood. Some are confused and some are clear regarding their romantic attractions and sexual preferences but all of us have at least one person with whom we initiate, try to express our tender feelings, and in the heat of the moments, some of us even engage sexually during teenage and puberty stages. This particular phase of life gives every queer person, a company of another queer person, with whom we sort of fall in love and dream of ending up forever. But that scenario hardly comes true.



Not everyone is bold enough to come out as homosexual, bisexual or transsexual in childhood and not everyone restricts themselves to explore the curiosity behind the sexual orientations because of various societal pressures. And at the same time, not everyone ends up as gay or lesbian just because they have had some same-sex encounters in their childhood. Always understand, sexual orientations are fluid, but that doesn't mean the lust or love towards a person vanishes off. You can't expect your childhood love with whom you shared some innocent intimacy, to be gay like you. To get rid of unfortunate consequences, he could pretend to be straight after your breakup with him or else after you step out of his life.




All of us have such ex-partners in life who act as true heterosexuals which makes us feel too many mixed emotions. You must be always prepared to handle your straight-acting ex-partner, especially when you are openly gay and he/she is still pretending to be straight by suppressing his/her homosexual feelings.


If you and your ex completed schooling together, then there are many chances for you to encounter him/her many times in your life. Seeing your ex with a straight partner irks you off, especially when you come out as an open and proud homosexual. Try to accept the reality though you know that it's not genuine. You either feel like ignoring your ex or you may feel like punching him in his face or the worst case, you may announce to the world that she was your ex once. (which is earth-shattering)




If you think you are better off that person, then ignore your ex and his/her straight-acting skills. But what if your ex still sees someone other than heterosexual people? What if she is still sleeping with girls out there for fun but behaving and preaching like a typical heterosexual who is non-queer friendly? Ignoring is good, but if you ignore people who pretend then it may ruin someone else. Of course, we don't have to do anything with our ex-partner's whereabouts, but if that person is playing with everyone's feelings and you can see him/her roaming in front of you publicly cheating men and women for the sake of sensual pleasures and materialistic gains, then you must teach your straight-acting ex-partner a good lesson.




You don't have to make a scene. But whenever you face him/her, pass a teasing smile by portraying smirk in your eyes as if you know what's happening in and around. If possible, approach him and warn him off with utmost sarcasm. You can also tell her to stop playing with others' feelings by cautioning her with an intense tone. Be sassy and this will make your straight-acting ex, not ruin the life of other queer people.


Not every one of your ex-partners acts straight after they break up with you. Some people truly appreciate being a heterosexual by getting married to the opposite sex partner and have kids and lead a happy life. If you ever bump into such kind of ex-partners' whom you get to realize leading a heterosexual life, be kind and don't be rude, and most importantly respect their choice of being a heterosexual, at least they are not pretending.




Most of the married men and women, who were into same-sex encounters, can't get rid of their sexual preferences post-marriage, and hence they cheat on their partners to have some sensual fun but at the same time, these people act completely straight in public spaces, which is ridiculously irritating. It's okay to feel like punching him in his face and defaming her marriage life. But the question is, what will you gain? You will be portrayed as a bad cop if you take some serious physical actions. Hence, be a good cop and act on emotions.




Introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your straight-acting ex-partner. Be more cozy and lovely in his/her presence. If you can take it to another level, you can kiss right in front of him/her. And if you sense that your ex-partner is neglecting you or pretending that he/she doesn't know you at all, then it's time to act upon it. Approach your ex, especially when he/she is with his/her heterosexual partner, to create a doubtful situation that is edgy, breathless, and suffocating. It's sadistic, but a few people deserve to be treated in such a way to make them understand how you feel. There's no need of raising hands-on people when you can tackle the situation with a few breathtaking phrases!




Next comes the revenge. Most of us feel bad when we encounter a person whom we loved once, becomes an exact opposite person who portrays the utmost hatred towards us soon after coming out of closets. Yes, most of the homosexuals have these kinds of ex-partners who act completely straight and homophobic just to make people around believe that there is no connection at all. Taking revenge by committing physical and emotional disturbances leads you nowhere and sometimes, you may face lawsuits against you for defaming another person's life. Hence, you need to act a bit smart.




If you have an ex-partner who is pretending to be straight and also homophobic to let the world understand that you and your ex don't even know each other and also if you have an ex-partner who always targets you for being homosexual to act cool among others, you need to raise your voice by committing some passive-aggressive methods. Let the world know that the one who is targeting you unnecessarily is the one who was actually with you in your past. And announce it to the world by not completely revealing the details, but by partially creating doubts in society. Well, that's how you must put a person in a stuck-up situation and make him/her not to poke into your business anymore!




Are you already planning to target your straight-acting ex-partner, that too in a smarter way without losing your cool?


#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #queerrelationships #queercouples #straightactingexpartners