If you are a person who thinks that you never doubt the person whom you love or in a relationship with, then you are going wrong somewhere in your relationship. Doubting someone is mostly treated as a negative byproduct of love but if you see it from the context of a person, who doubts his or her partner, it seems like something out of extreme possessiveness and overprotective nature, or sometimes, it could be out of the fear of losing your loved ones.
Needless to say, doubting also has its limitations and if one crosses the saturation point, then things become unmanageable, rough and the relationship becomes truly a mess. In the queer community, we face a lot of people who continuously exhibit their doubtful personalities. In this millennial era, the scope of dating a person is very flexible and if you break up today, you can easily get someone tomorrow, at least to share your break-up story over a cup of coffee or helps you to come out of it with a random hookup. This is the reality of the current queer dating scenario and there's no wrong in it too. But, the same scenario is making a queer person feel doubtful about one's partner.
Do you know where the wrong lies? In the doubtful personality of a person in a particular romantic relationship. Sometimes a happy couple can fight over a silly issue because of some mean doubt, which has nothing to do with any of the partners. Yes, a small unnecessary, and irrelevant doubt is capable enough to ruin a beautiful relationship, and one must know how to control such a typical doubtful personality, especially the ones who create ripples in their relationships out of nowhere just because they feel doubtful.
Stop dreaming about your break-up. When it didn't happen, don't let it happen for the sake of experiencing it. The more you think about the breakup, the more you get doubts about your partners and the more you behave doubtfully.
You don't have to track the schedules of your partner every single day because if you keep doing that, you feel his ten-minute delay to home as a monstrous thing. If she is a working woman and if you are in a live-in relationship, understand that sometimes it is okay to reach home late.
Homosexuals can have heterosexual pals. Just because you hang out with only queer people, it doesn't mean your partner must also do that. Moreover, if your bisexual girlfriend is talking to a straight guy, it doesn't mean something is cooking between them. Stop feeling insecure and don't encourage your doubtful personality.
Appreciate each other's world with no space for doubts. If you love someone, you must accept the way they are and it includes their personality traits and their level of mingling with other people. If you are an extrovert, you just can't raise doubts about your introverted boyfriend's abilities to accept your world and if you are an introvert, you shouldn't consider your extrovert girlfriend as too easy to get into people. Stop assuming things. Assumptions can fuel your doubtful personality.
Talk and sort it out instead of keeping things inside of you and getting rotten up. Confrontation is important, even though it is a silly doubt you have on your partner's moves, spill it out. And there are chances of getting into unnecessary arguments and cold wars, but they are worth it to excel in your relationship. The main aspect is; don't do this all the time! Confront when you feel it is needed and when you can't keep something which is bothering you. If not, just sweep your silly doubts away.
Never include a third person when you have doubts about your partner. Every so often, those doubts are stupid and completely irrelevant and hence if you involve a third person, you may end up making a fool out of yourself and degrade your relationship in front of others. Moreover, sometimes a particular third person can be influential to get you out of the relationship by giving bad pieces of advice.
So, if you ever feel stuck up with a particular doubt and want to take some suggestions from a third person, make sure that person is unbiased to either of you and also make sure he/she gets nothing out of your relationship and the who is very transparent about his/her point of views. Doubtful personalities sometimes need people to help them out to get out of their dark world.
Make an oath of not checking your partner's phones and maintaining space between your worlds. Even though you get to handle your partner's phone, don't go through his/her personal stuff. This indeed may turn into an addiction and one day you can't sleep without scrolling through the messages of your partners. And that's unacceptable.
Make your partner understand your doubtful personality. Tell him that you feel doubtful he acts suspicious or mysterious. Tell her that you need to be kept intimated about her whereabouts just for the sake of knowing whether she is safe or not. Ask him to call you at least once a day to know how things are going with him. Ask her to be with you when you need her the most. Express your emotions about how you feel and be very transparent about your personality so that your partner understands you and makes things right which never let you bother about your relationship or raise doubts about your partner.
It is okay to be vulnerable with a truly loving partner because that lets you understand each other and adjust each other's mentalities without giving unnecessary things, a scope to interfere in your relationship, and ruin your bond.
And before anything else, just get into the shoes of your partner and think from his/her side to scrutinize the situation from his/her context, whenever you feel doubtful about your partner. And, most importantly, think about how you behave and take when your partner raises doubts about your every single move. This gives you the reality check and helps you to unfold things and accept the way they are!