It is challenging for every parent to analyze and scrutinize the not-so-convincing choices of a queer kid and most parents strike off all those choices purposely, forcefully, and knowingly by ignoring the feelings behind such choices. Sadly, it reflects the shrinking of a queer personality and most importantly, it makes a queer kid feel difficult to recognize the truth and get along with it by facing it proudly and bravely. If a parent fails at understanding one's kids' feelings behind one's choices, the whole concept of parenting comes to stake and by the time a parent realizes one's mistake, everything goes out of hand, especially the connection between a parent and a kid.
Treating everything normal is the perfect way to understand your queer kid's choices instead of freaking out at everything he/she selects to wear, keep and carry.
Never compare the choices of other kids with your kids. When you already know that your kid is queer, you should also understand that kid's choices reflect your kid's queer personality. If you don't know your kid, it's high time for you to focus on knowing your kid inside out.
You gave birth to an offspring and hence he or she is completely the product of yours. If you feel ashamed of your queer kid, it specifies that you are ashamed of yourself. Do you think it is fair enough to think like that when it isn't your kid's choice to select your womb? And do you think it is justified to act as if you are ashamed of having a queer kid as it is completely your choice of giving birth? So, stop overanalyzing the scenarios and try to embrace them instead of feeling embarrassed.
The more you accept your kid's choices, the more you feel contented, satisfied, and motivated towards making your kid feel accepted and loved.
Comprehend that behind every choice, there lies an emotion and feeling attached to it. It could be a little hair clip or a basketball, but those choices elevate the personality of your queer kid and emerge him or her as a proud queer person.
Also, the more your reject your kid's choices, the more you lose the true identity of your kid. Because if you keep rejecting your kid's effeminate choices just because he is a boy and he is supposed to choose all the macho stuff around, he loses hope in keeping his true self out there and start concealing it and also encouraging it in between four walls when no one's watching.