Things to understand if you date an effeminate gay!
Being effeminate is an amalgamation of being masculine and feminine in a body and generally, we use this word for males who carry the femininity with their masculine personalities. Unfortunately, most people can't understand the practical, biological, and emotional traits of an effeminate person and try to degrade him in every possible way. There is no rule that only homosexual men could be effeminate. You can find many straight men whose behavioral patterns, postures, and gestures resemble the typical norms of femininity.
Keeping that aside, the effeminate males of different age patterns are always considered delicate, fragile, sensitive, calm going and effortless. You can use all the soft adjectives to describe effeminate men, but this is the very reason why people take them for granted and find opportunities to demean them. There's this microaggression thrown at every effeminate guy by the people around by considering them as the girl in a queer relationship. Though it's fine for many, in the end, it dilutes a person's personality.
Moreover, society always acts hard on every effeminate man and when he comes out as gay and he gets into a relationship with another man, he expects his partner to respect, value, understand and support him and his personality without throwing judgmental criticism. So, if you are a person who loves to be in a relationship with an effeminate gay, you must know a few basic things to understand and get along with him!
Though your partner is gay, ask and appreciate what he prefers to be called according to his gender identity. You must ask him regarding his preferable pronouns. Some gays consider themselves as regular men and some don't give a damn about the gender binary constraints and they don't like people restricting them under one roof. So, understand his gender identity than focusing on his orientation!
Being effeminate is all about maintaining that feminine charm in one's soul. And it is extremely unreasonable not to spill outside. Can you behave like a donkey when you are a human? You can't right! So, don't ask or force your partner to behave like a typical man when it comes to postures, gestures, language, and every personality trait.
Entitling him sissy, girly, sensitive, and letting others do the same thing with your partner is such a demeaning thing. Even he knows he sometimes acts like a girl; you don't have to stress the point all the time. It sometimes makes your partner go through an emotional dilemma and end up in emotional trauma too! You can call him baby girl, that's completely fine. But you can't call him sissy bitch. There's a difference. Understand it!
If you are a regular straight-looking gay guy, it may be a little difficult to adjust to a person who acts no lesser than a girl. But when you chose to date that person, you must have seen something special right, so stick to that special part instead of drifting away with other personality traits of your partner. Never get influenced by others' opinions on your partner.
If you date an effeminate gay, it's mostly like dating a girl. You can feel every feminine vibe and should handle each feminine tantrum. The way how your partner cares for you keeps track of all your schedules, makes sure you reach your workplace safely, makes sure you have three meals per day, every effort makes you feel as if you being loved by a female, cared for by your mother and sister. Everything that comes in your path looks, sounds, and feels like the typical feminine. So get used to it.
Get habituated with pastels and too many colors. Get habituated with shopping. Get used to listening to all the tantrums you hear for missing that one call. Get used to text at the beginning and end of your day. Get used to keeping your house clean and maintaining yourself and your hygiene in and around. Get used to his bitching and gossiping habits.
He cries. He screams. He shouts. He erratically behaves girly in public especially when he spots something excited or his favorite dress in his favorite store. Don't stop him or restrict him from being himself. If you show at least one sign of disappointment or embarrassment or disgust, you will miss a chance to explore the true self of your partner. Because like typical women, effeminate men can be over-sensitive sometimes. Your partner may think that he hurts you and in turn, he starts hurting himself by faking his emotions and feelings.
Not every effeminate guy is sensitive, simple, and somber. Some are sophisticated, sassy, and rebellious enough. They may look, sound, and dress feminine, but they behave like warrior women. They don't leave a chance to fight against all the odds. They are highly passionate about their work or careers or their choices. They are straightforward and can make you silent within split seconds. They win all the arguments, discussions, and conversations. If you date such kind of a rebellious effeminate man, your life becomes edgy and your relationship fills with full of excitement. But yes, they are a little difficult to manage. You can't hold their tantrums but yeah like other effeminate men, they do shower plenty of love, care, and support, if they think that you are deserving and worthy enough!
So, understand the basic personality of your effeminate gay partner. And if you think all the effeminate men are quite easy to get or can be easily taken for granted, remember one thing, femininity has the power of creation and destruction. So, use your love to create something beautiful, and don't use your hatred to destroy your whole life! Who knows all the sensitive effeminate men have these strong effeminate men on their backs?
