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Things to do during the 'lust deferred and love delayed' phase

It is a typical situation that has existed for ages among couples regardless of the changing scenarios in the aspect of love and trust. Unfortunately, most couples fall apart in a particular phase of dating where they crave each others' presence yet can't commit due to various reasons that affect their personal lives. In the initial stages of dating where a couple starts by travelling casually to know each other and gradually gets along with the situations around to test their compatibility, things go pretty fast but they come to a serious halt when their love and lust for each other gets tested seriously on various possible grounds. At this very phase, couples get succumbed to fragile situations by giving up on the bond they built from those initial stages of dating. Hence, it is significant for a person to know what to do when one feels caught up between a lust deferred and a love delayed situation.

When you fall in love with a person to whom you feel closer in every perspective, you become relentless in keeping yourself away from that person and you constantly crave that person's presence beside you no matter what. But what if you face a situation where you can't express your feelings to any other person because of discreetness, fear, communication gap, loss of contact, previous history, and societal and family issues? It is a delicate phase where a person feels suffocated because of the inability of announcing one's relationship publicly. Even though you want to let the world know about you and your partner, you see yourself in a position where nothing gets confirmed and committed because of various concealing factors. Well, that's when you feel your lust getting deferred and love getting delayed.

Postponing and procrastinating are the major withdrawal elements in this phase. One or both partners may feel like postponing coming out clean as a couple to the world due to personal reasons and if a person entertains this scenario for a long time, there are high chances for that couple to fall apart. So don't linger on it until it breaks. You must know that being transparent about your relationship is necessary and mandatory, not for the sake of social security but for the sake of your mental peace.

  • Control your cravings of lust and wantings of your partner's bodily presence all the time because it affects your ability to be strong enough during the absence of your partner.

  • Be habituated with the element of embracing your feelings and emotions, not the person always because who knows what the future holds for you.

  • Perpetually maintain the healthy difference of interdependency and individuality in your brain regardless of how blind you are in love with your partner.

  • Express your feelings to your partner clearly and specifically by mentioning what induces you to feel happy and satisfied by being in a romantic relationship.

  • If you know your families, social circles, careers, goals and passions may become hurdles to your relationship; you must prepare to face them instead of trying to escape from them to get yourself some time to enjoy your lovely time together.

  • Don't think securing some extra time in terms of encountering the situations may aid you to resolve things easily. Practically it doesn't work that way and if you feel you need to act, you better act upon the situation without anticipating the results.

  • If you think coming out as a couple who are in a relationship romantically, sexually and emotionally, may affect your life or lifestyle, then you must know that your comfort zones are controlling you more than needed. Until and unless you come out of those zones, you keep craving for validation as a couple in others' eyes and it does no good to either of you.

  • Often couples choose to suffocate themselves for the sake of others' priorities, preferences and peace by keeping their happiness at stake. It makes you feel tired at one point especially when you both can't stay away from each other.

  • Don't try to enact that you aren't in love to masquerade your relationship for your personal or your partner's sake because people aren't ignorant enough to recognize the slightest possible changes in your behavioural patterns. So know when to hide and when to disclose.

  • It is substantial for you to talk about your love, relationship or partner to people whom you trust and believes instead of keeping your bond under the sheets hiding from the world or keeping it between four walls.

  • Cheating becomes inevitable if you keep restricting yourself or situations. Either you may cheat on your partner in weak moments, or you may be left out as a stranger for your partner. If no knows about your relationship, how can, you even claim the time you spent with your so-called dating partner?

  • Of course, love is based on trust and passion. But if your partner keeps suggesting you keep it discreet by postponing the social commitment regarding your relationship, then you need to question your trust and passion as a couple.

  • If you sense something isn't right, you need to confront it without hesitating for a moment.

  • Control your sexual cravings, physical wantings, psychological dependency and emotional attachment with your dating partner when you feel that you are stuck up in a dating phase where nothing is getting settled at all.

In this phase of dating where a person feels like lust deferred and love delayed, things may often go wrong due to family restrictions, societal influences, personal choices, psychological imbalances, emotional stress, physical inabilities and many more. But true love always overcomes any kind of fragile dating phase and a couple prevails as successful partners by coming out with sincere commitments where they celebrate their love without hesitance, regret, guilt and displeasure with utmost happiness and satisfaction. Try overcoming the hurdles instead of escaping them.

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