Things to do before deciding to be a same-sex parent(s)!
Parenting styles contrast from one couple to another regardless of orientation. But the straight parenting scenario can be different from the gay parenting scenario because the world has adopted the heteronormative parenting lifestyle for ages. In contrast, same-sex parenting came into the picture only a few decades ago even though many stories of same-sex parents were penned in the histories of various civilisations. In this modern era, same-sex couples are coming forward to become parents through various procedures like surrogacy and adoption but to get along with the current parenting scenario without making one's kids feel abnormal or awkward, a couple must think about many things before deciding to be same-sex parents. Indeed, you must prepare to be dotting parents with the aspects of normality and inclusivity in your kids' mindsets.
Be a stable, loving, understanding, adjusting and accepting couple first before thinking about getting a child in your relationship or marriage because only a couple who appreciate each other unconditionally can bring up a child beautifully without inflicting traumatised childhood on a kid's life. So work on being a devoted queer couple before deciding to be same-sex parents to a child.
No matter how deeply you believe and consider your love, relationship or marriage as normal and accepted, you always encounter odd situations in your life being a gay couple or falling under gender minorities. Hence, you need to be pretty strong to face society, stand against all the odds and prepare a protective shield around you so that your kid feels safe and secure in your presence in the future by comprehending the societal equations. So, work on being a strong homosexual couple before thinking about giving a promising future to your kid.
Become trial parents by being a trial version of same-sex parents to know how well can you bring up a living being in your queer presence. Here trial doesn't mean you bring up a kid and foster for some days and decide to adopt on your own. This trial means being same-sex parents to pets and plants before deciding to entertain a kid of your own. Yes, any parent must try growing up a living being before jumping to the decision of bringing up another human being. It contributes to a person a distinct perspective on one's ability to become a parent. And it mostly provides clarity for any couple to know how responsible they can be together in bringing up a kid in future. Accordingly, you will get to know whether you are ready to become same-sex parents or remain as just a same-sex couple. So, be dog parents or cat parents or plant parents before deciding to be child parents.
Talk to your parents, dearest pals and well-wishers who can provide their input regarding your decision to become parents. Even though you don't consider suggestions or depend on others' opinions, there is no harm in listening to the people who are already experienced in being parents. Most importantly, try to reach out to other same-sex parents to know every element of the same-sex parenting scenario.
Stability, individuality and independence are more important in being a parent. A couple must be flexible and feasible enough financially, emotionally, mentally, psychologically and even physically to bring up a child on their own. One must be practical enough more than just being sentimental about becoming a parent. Strictly speaking, love isn't all enough to bring up a kid, you need money, emotional attachment, material strength, and psychological stability to shape a kid's future properly. And also, if you want to stand out as an impressive queer parent or to get along with other parents in the current societal scenario, you have to be someone exactly like any other straight couple who decides to become parents.
Place plays a prominent role in bringing up a kid especially by being a same-sex couple because not every country allows same-sex couples to become parents or to legally adopt kids or even go for surrogacy procedures. Hence, you must decide to move to a place or a country where you can have the freedom to be a same-sex couple and same-sex parents. Many western countries have already pioneered the terms of same-sex parenting scenarios. So, if you sincerely want to be same-sex parents, then decide and work on settling yourself in the right place.
Last but not least, regardless of how many struggles you face during the process of becoming parents, how many hurdles you encounter during the adoption process, or how many barriers you experience from people in your life, never give up on your dream of being a parent because it's precious especially when you can have a chance of giving a future to a child. You face issues regarding your orientations and identities in society, but everything vanishes with your child's smile. Most importantly, before deciding to be same-sex parents, prepare yourself thoroughly to acknowledge every single question your child is going to throw at you while growing up as a kid to a same-sex couple because the real challenge starts then when you need to know how to balance your homely queer culture with the outside heteronormative world.
