It is becoming quite a typical dating phenomenon these days, especially with queer people in the queer community. With the feasibility in society and efforts of queer activists who constantly try to blur the lines in gender and sexuality norms, things are becoming better gradually but on the contrary, things are also getting worse. And it is all because of that one annoying aspect of considering queer people as mere social experiments for employing them into giving queer dating experiences to people who have never been into any queer person before. These so-called experimenting heterosexuals, budding bi-curious folks and casually dating bisexual folks always want to derive physical and emotional experiences from queer people.
With no offence, we all are aware of the unfortunate factor of modern dating scenarios where people mostly meet, date and even break up within no time after developing connections virtually over texts and calls. Strictly speaking, most folks barely meet in person as they only desire to have non-strings-attached kind of commitments from people they find online and even if they meet in person, they surely leave no chance of exploiting a person by exhibiting their opportunistic sides.
Many queer people submit themselves under the name of emotional attachment to these kinds of casual dating experimental folks, only to be left out as an exploited dating exploration. Hence, queer people need to comprehend a person's dating motives before getting into any kind of dating zone with someone who shows romantic interest. Here are some of the things that turn you into an exploited queer dating exploration:
Going against your dating ethics, the time you allow to perceive a person and the phases you want to go through while considering a person as your dating partner.
Being a guinea pig for someone's social dating experience. You are more than just a social experiment.
Allowing people to consider your sexual orientation and gender identity as sensational factors because once they explore and lose that excitement, you will be abandoned.
Keeping people away who normalize you as a fellow human being and consider your personality than appearance.
Showing unnecessary empathy towards first-timers who merely want to play trial and error with your sexuality and sensuality.
Providing your time, energy and effort to people who consider you as part of their sexuality research only by having sex with you. They end up toxic especially if you befall an emotional person.
Showcasing your vulnerability right from the beginning by opening up more than required.
Lacking clarity about what the other person rightly wants from you.
Performing everything under the sky for people who express interest in you without recognizing their true intentions.
Prioritizing people's desires, needs and wishes more than yours, especially by thinking that you are doing a favour to make them explore you in every possible way without predicting the drowning near future.
Devaluing yourself by entertaining random people who desire nothing but sex from you under the name of experiential exploration.
Confining yourself to a rigid and restricted definition of being you with the tag of your sexual orientation. You are not just gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, or intersexual. You are more than that but if you remain as just a queer person in someone's mind then you are getting played and used.
Trying harder and harder to fit in according to people who display interest in you sexually and physically by thinking that they would invest in you emotionally. That never happens regrettably.
Targeting love in flawed people even though being aware of other person's casual dating approaches.
Forgetting that you represent a proud queer person who needs to evolve only with the right people who believe in mutual experiences instead of being a one-time or one-night or one-vacation partner for someone who fetishizes you.
Encouraging people to consider your queer personality as a fantasy or a fetish that they want to have sex with.
Making romantic relationships with random people only for giving them the experience of being with a queer person.
Requesting such casually dating experimental people to be your lifetime partners by chasing behind them blindly in the hope of love and commitment. Those people never commit because all they want is an experience and a benefit out of their physical body and emotional mind.
All the above-mentioned moves pave an easy path for experimental dating folks to exploit queer people by experiencing erotic fantasies, fulfilling sensual desires, gaining psychological stress relieving moments, passing on time as a fun game, enduring materialistic pleasures, portraying queer people as sex trends, tasting joy out of abandoning after deriving experiences, and most importantly feeling the life of and with a queer person. They acquire all the experience and what do you get being that queer person who remains as nothing more than an exploration or an experiment? Trauma!
Don't get exploited by being a queer dating experiment for someone's experiential exploration.