The issues of a 'Unicorn' in a Polyamorous relationship!
Surely not about that character that heals people with its magical powers that resemble horse with a horn and rainbow-colored pony. Those unicorns symbolically describe queer people like the character itself is a peculiar one. Real-life unicorns exist in our society, especially people who involve in Polyamorous relationships. Not everyone can be considered as a Unicorn. These endure the ones who are bisexuals engaged sexually, romantically, physically with a committed heterosexual couple to develop a polyamorous relationship. In most cases, bisexual women are considered as Unicorns, but in this modern era, bisexual men also are called Unicorns in Polyamory.
There are many kinds of Polyamorous relationships like a triad, poly-fidelity, solo-poly, poly-monogamous, egalitarian-poly, and many more. But Unicorns exist only in those polyamorous relationships in which a heterosexual or bisexual couple gets involved. To clear the clouds, a "Unicorn" is a bisexual woman who approaches a heterosexual couple for enjoying physical and emotional relations to spice up their relationship. Which means, in that couple, both man and woman treat this unicorn as their girlfriend together. This man stays heterosexual, but his wife continues as bisexual. Similarly the same with, a bisexual man approaching a heterosexual couple where the woman remains straight, but the man continues as bisexual for having sensual affairs with the Unicorn man! Though, many calculations involved, these kinds of polyamory couples enjoy the existence of these unicorns who can make their relationships stronger and healthier in every possible way. Here the couple may behave as opportunistic to try new things out in their life, whereas Unicorn, who involves, may or may not fall in love with the couple. And the issues raised from here.
Mostly, all the unicorns are handled as sex toys who elevate the sensuality among a couple. The crucial issue, no matter how hard a unicorn tries to portray herself/himself emotionally involved with a couple, the society or sometimes the couple, considers them only as sexual partners. Hence, the aspect of a sexual affair visible big in the picture. Though a unicorn falls in love with a couple of starts dating a couple, he/she can never feel like being involved completely with the couple. The feeling of being left-out could become a fundamental issue in these polyamorous relationships. Ultimately, a couple remains as a couple no matter what. Because a couple who never give up on their relationship can only consider the option of involving others in a relationship to make their life better than before. Therefore, the existence of Unicorns can sometimes be portrayed as vacationing bisexuality in a relationship, especially with heterosexual couples.
Jealousy is one of the prime issues in polyamory. Being involved with a couple together sexually, romantically and emotionally, make a unicorn feel loved and most desired one, but there are many chances that any of the people from a couple, be it a man or a woman, may become possessive or feel jealous of seeing the unicorn being loved by either of the partners. A unicorn will remain always the person who gets troubled by the jealousy and possessive traits of a couple and things may become degraded even more. If you represent a unicorn in a polyamorous relationship, you are the first person who will be asked to hide the relationship though you want to come out as openly proud being with a couple. Because you are always that third person in such polyamory which includes an already committed couple. Sexually, a unicorn is treated as a great stress reliever for couples who struggles to find their proper equation in their relationship but emotionally the same unicorn can be treated as stress giver to a couple because things get drastically changed after involving a third person in a relationship in every possible way.
It takes a long time for a couple to refer the word "Us" in the aspect of including a unicorn in their relationship. Consequently, Unicorns are the ones who keep reminding their couple partners that they must be involved but this is another emotionally stressful issue all the unicorns' encounter. Yes, the aspect of identity in the polyamorous relationship becomes difficult when they are with these kinds of couples. Unicorns are the basic foundations for all those polyamorous couples who are either heterosexual or bisexual. But there are chances that after constructing a magnificent castle, couples may forget the first brick they laid for their construction. Here, a unicorn can be that first brick. Thus, it's a daily struggle for all these unicorns to keep their partners engaged with them all time to make them feel special and loved.
It takes a split second for a couple to get into a threesome with a unicorn, but it takes a lot of time to hold hands or to make public appearances as a polyamorous couple with the same unicorn. Until and unless the couple isn't ashamed or embarrassed or annoyed of themselves for being a polyamorous couple, they won't allow a unicorn to hang out with them in public. These are some of the main issues faced by these unicorns, and not all the polyamorous couples behave in the same way, but most of them end up hurting their unicorns who step in their lives to heal their relationships and make them feel happy and satisfied. So, to all those couples who have their unicorns, here's a question: Is it fair enough, causing emotional pain or hurt feelings of a person who makes his/her active presence in your life to relieve your emotional and physical stress?
#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #polyamory #unicorns #relationshipstruggles