The element of Painful pleasure in sex!

When we think about sex, our hormones rush us to derive that sensible pleasure in our bodies. Those feelings, where too many hormones involved before and after sex, are quite inexplicable. Casually we term them, the heat of the moments. Well, many of us commit embarrassing mistakes at these moments. Some physically behave annoyingly, and some emotionally promise their partners to fulfill the wishes that can never be attained. These all happen just to acquire the element of pleasure out of intimacy, but there is another important element which tags along with pleasure, yes, Pain!


The unique moments where a person can feel the pleasure out of pain are at the sensual intimate sessions. And we consider it as pleasureful pain. But this term can be swapped in another way when it comes to a few people. Do you think about the constraint of pain in the first place when someone utters the word sex? Well, then you see intimacy as a painful pleasure and there are many reasons for you to think about pain first and pleasure next! The element of Pain is mostly faced by women, gay bottoms, passive lesbians, simply men and women who get penetrated. Anal sex and Vaginal sex are the main intimate sessions where a person can feel pain including pleasure. The reasons are separated into the physical, emotional and medical.


Physically, most of us feel the pain during sex, and we enjoy it too. Some of us go to extreme levels in enjoying the pain through bondage, sadism, and masochism. Well, that's a different concept, but in the process of sexual adventures and experimenting things, a person may unnecessarily feel pain. Always you must choose those sex positions and sexual behaviors that you can be completely comfortable with. You shouldn't attempt things for your partners. You must try for yourself. Imagine a person who loves vanilla sex, gets into BDSM for the first time, and feels the utmost pain in every possible way. If he/she doesn't enjoy the experience at all because of the unpredictable physical bruises, mentally that person may form a fearful opinion on sex which affects the sensual behavior of a person. Who knows that person may stop physically getting engaged?


Bareback sex seems to be another main reason for the element of pain. The usage of lube and condoms make a person feel the smoothness of sex. Lubrication of anal or vaginal or pelvic areas makes a couple enjoy the sex session instead of feeling the pain through wild insertion. Bareback penetration may also cause internal ruptures and most importantly, sexually transmitted diseases too!


Anal sex without lubing or condoms may end you up with anal fissures which make you bleed out of the anus and the pain constraint is severe in these anal tissue ruptures. Some people purposefully opt for it to appreciate the rawness and painful sex, but committing it regularly may cause severe pains internally.


Emotional reasons are the ones on which millennials should work on. Currently, most of us work in various industries at various timings. Unlike olden days, where one of the partners in a couple used to take care of the household and the other used to work but presently everyone is working. So the effect of stress plays a major role in causing physical pain. Are you wondering how? Emotional stress creates performance anxiety which many people take it as some prestige issue. Always keep in mind that, including porn stars, no one in this world can perform well all the time. For god sake, we are humans, not those sex robots. Performance anxiety can result in over performance where a partner tries severely hard to penetrate without considering the pain created out of the friction of two bodies physically. And some people cannot perform well because the stress act upon the pelvic muscles does not allow a person to feel horny or hard enough to support penetration. This can be seen in most of the males who penetrate their partners.


The same stress can similarly act different from the people who get penetrated. Anxiety, depression, fear, anger, disgust, any kind of negative or sad emotion cause a person's anal muscles or vaginal muscles tighten up. In sex, the genital muscles must be relaxed to allow others to get into us. If it wouldn't happen, the forceful insertion may cause physical pain. This is what happens in sexual abuse. Speaking of abuses, a person may unintentionally feel painful because of the past or childhood sexual abuse incidents. This emotional breakdown creates a thin layer of separation between you and your partner. There is no need for a physical entrance to experience the pain. Emotionally, people can feel the pain with or without sex.


If you are one of them, please see a physician and psychologist too. Emotional strength can wholly make you get back to your sensual pleasures if not sex becomes a nightmare for you. Like how a person can feel the pleasure while imagining someone or while watching porn, the same way, a person can feel the pain whenever he/she imagines any incident or event which caused them pain in the past. Medically, there can be many issues, where a person should not be allowed to get into physical intimacy. Sex needs flexibility and holding capabilities to enjoy the pleasure out of it. If you have issues in any of your muscles, your body won't support you to feel the pleasure and even though you end up having sex regardless of your sex, the session would be more painful with less pleasure. So, follow your doctor's suggestions if you are medically ill. Horny feelings may make a person breach the rules but if you do, you end up breaking yourself.


Like the way how you focus on pleasure constraint in sex, you must concentrate on pain constraint too. Because unlike life which establishes you to feel pleasure and pain one after the other, sex makes you feel both the pain and pleasure simultaneously. Pleasureful pain is all about more pleasure, but painful pleasure is all about Pain!


#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #sexeducationblogs #sexlife #painfulpleasure