The “A”s that make your dates pretty uncomfortable!
And when you realize them, you need to know how to act accordingly without ignoring or escaping because these things have the capability of pulling you and your dating ethics down. This blog is not for those who randomly hook up and get along with meaningless bonds for physical pleasures because this is for those who exclusively invest their emotions, efforts and energies to have a romantic dating life even though it takes going out on dates with deserving people!
But not every date turns out to be memorable and beautiful. Some people may degrade the image of a romantic date in your mind with their behavioural patterns. Even though they commit those mistakes purposely or unintentionally, your moods may get easily ruined and if those hit you emotionally it becomes difficult for you to pull yourself together and push yourself to the next date.
Authenticity
People always act genuine but not every one of them is authentic when it comes to their tastes, preferences and appearances because in this current dating scenario you find very few people who say what they mean. In the attempt of scoring a date or spending some time outside with one’s romantic interests, people try to enact the other person’s interests as their own. And the worst part is some people look completely different than how they portray be they physically or psychologically.
Imagine you being so open about your personality inside out sitting right in front of someone who is exactly opposite to the one whom you expect to be with! It's completely uneasy and you find everything around you is a lie. Well, when that happens instead of getting along with the date, you better confront to make that person realises the importance of authenticity. If the other person’s perspectives seem convincing you can still spend time but if you feel uncomfortable, better walk out!
Aesthetic
Yes, some people do maintain the dating aesthetic in their romantic life because it makes them feel more connected with the other person’s lifestyle. There's no wrong in having a specific dating aesthetic when it comes to dressing, choosing places and types of dates one likes to prefer having with one’s dating partners. But before going out on a date, if you have a dating aesthetic you need to communicate about it with your dating partner because you will surely feel utmostly uncomfortable if your dating partner appears in athleisure wear for a candlelight dinner date.
But even after mentioning your particularities in terms of going on a date in a specific pattern, if your dating partner considers it as rubbish, then there are chances that you may get irked off easily even though you control yourself to as not to burst out. If a person truly cares for you and understands you, then that person also gets along with your dating aesthetic without complaining but if it doesn't happen, then it specifies that person can't get along with you in long run. You can't judge and expect these aesthetics on your first date though but if you realise the consistency of your dating partner not getting along with your dating specifics then you don't have to compromise. Date the one who gets you completely.
Aspirations
Dating is fun for some people but it is a serious aspect for some people because they have that ambition of being ended up with someone whom they love the most and who deserves their love. So the hope of dating for these people is all about having a serious committed relationship but if they don’t meet like-minded people they feel uncomfortable to the core. For instance, if you are someone who only goes out on a date to find that eternal love, then you put yourself out there with the preference for long-term connections. But in this modern world, you find many manipulative people who pretend their interest in having soulful bonds under the masquerades of lust and unfortunately if you end up falling for them virtually and meeting them personally on a date, you surely feel uneasy expressing your dating aspirations.
But that shouldn't be the case. If you are that person who mentions what you are looking for emotionally and physically, then you have every right to expect the same kind of preferences from the person you go out on a date with. And if the other person denies your hopes and ambitions you want to achieve out of your dating lifestyle even after signing up for a date with proper knowledge about your aspirations, you need to confront them right then and there without hesitating a bit. If you remain silent and ignore it, this thing ruins your mind and there's a chance of you being demotivated in terms of going out on a date with people whom you like.
Authority
Going out on a date is a delicate aspect of one's romantic life and no one should behave authoritatively and dominate one’s dating partner. People step out for dates only to feel romantically connected with others and that connection can't be laid when someone acts as if they own you. Narcissistic, self-obsessed, dramatic, selfish and people who think the world revolves around them are the worst people to go out on dates with because they sure make you feel that you are lesser than them in every perspective.
The uncomfortable factor arises especially when your date portrays himself or herself as the most desirable in terms of looks, most worthy in terms of status and most noticed in terms of career without knowing about your status, without realising about your career, without comprehending your appearance. These people roam in their la-la-land by considering themselves the best and think every other person is easily available and can be easily manipulated. If you ever feel that the person who sits in front of you using that authoritative tone with you under the name of being your date, you don't have to buy that crap. All you need to do is to stand up, ask that person to lower the tone and walk away. Even though it portrays you as rude and arrogant in the eyes of society, you must realise that it is important for you to stand up for yourself.
Aura
No matter how expensive the drink you order, how delicious your food looks, how romantic the place is, how fragrant the atmosphere around you if your dating partner lacks that vibe in matching yours, everything becomes increasingly uncomfortable for you and you must not suppress your emotions to make sure the other person shouldn't feel uncomfortable. Prioritising yourself isn't a wrong thing at all and if you know the aura around you with your date is making you feel the opposite of romantic then don't you think you are having a bad date?
Sometimes physical appearance, wardrobe, behavioural patterns, fake personality, boasting, inexperience, extra sweetness, chivalry, unnecessary feminism, patriarchy and even table manners can be the reasons for messing up the whole aura of a date. If you like the person and want to work it out, you can express your feelings regarding the factors that irk off your dating aura. Who knows the person may understand and may get along with you by adjusting. Hence you must communicate and express your feelings and if that person can't adjust to the whole dating vibe, then you must give up on that particular date without getting affected by it because you need to move forward without carrying all the date baggage to find that special someone with whom you can feel comfortable regardless of adjusting to your dating ethics.
So if you are planning to spend your romantic life with a person till “Z”, you need to make sure those above mentioned “A”s don't bring discomfort to your dating life scenario!