It's easy to suggest others not to be mendacious towards themselves, but when it comes to reality, everyone does the same in one or the other way. And the person who is reading now and the person who was writing this also must have lied to himself. It's common to spread lies in the air to make ourselves comfortable and others happy. Telling lies to others is way easier than telling lies to our souls because we know the lie we try to convey our soul, is indeed covering a naked truth of our life. How stupid it is to just pretend as if nothing happened when a lot is running deep inside the heart? But we do it, we tell lies to ourselves to pace up with others and to function properly according to the society and mostly to escape from the criticism we fear to face if we spill those bitter truths. How pity humans are!
We all use lies as sources to escape from pain and anxiety, but the fun part is a lie gives both pain and anxiety in return. So, it simply gives what we try to escape from. And in the queer community, every single person says hell lot of lies to people to hide their sexual orientations, especially the closeted ones and even though they know the truth, to fit in the society, they lie for themselves too. An effeminate gay may lie about the way he wants to get dressed in androgynous way, a lesbian may lie about being interested in hot guys in a party, a trans-man may lie about her genitals to step in men's washroom, an asexual person may lie about his/her opinion about sex just to convince people that he/she is not weird, a bisexual may lie about his change of preferences now and then and many more. We all tell lies to persuade people around us, to make them realize that we aren't different. But dig down, we too know that we are different and it is okay to be different. So, why do we have to do so much drama about being ourselves? Of course, not everyone is as courageous enough of the people who came out and enjoying their queer lifestyle. But, don't you think that they too had their painful past and struggled a lot to enjoy the fruitful life they are having right now?
Lies are always temporary solutions. And the lies we tell to our souls are just to control our emotions and feelings. Simply, they act like anti-anxiety pills. Instead of making us normal, they make us feel bad and depressed every single time we utter something to cover our orientations and preferences. Lies are like these build up moss plants. They look beautiful on a huge rock to just click a picture, but if you stand on that rock, you may slip and get hurt very badly. If you keep on lying yourselves to suppress your feelings and carry a fake smile and fake attitude with a fake behavior, your fake looks visible in a beautiful way for people, but it makes your life ugly to the core and you feel suffocated and burst out one day like a volcano.
That's what happens with every queer person who lives a life which is completely a lie and when the time they come out, their lies visible to people in the ugliest way and the experiences turn out to be sour. Yeah, it is difficult for a person to lie about himself to people and it is way more difficult when a person lies to himself. But when he dares to face such a difficulty every single day by conveying lies to people and lies to himself, why can't he gather all his energy and bravery to tell the truth to people and himself and struggle a bit or more to gain something he wishes for? It is always better to lead a difficult satisfied life than an easy dissatisfied life. The only difference is the happiness and completeness of being a human.
It is acceptable that some people can't come out to their parents and their family and friends because of their situations and their upbringing criteria, but when you know that you are not you anymore, why do you have to waste your energy to convince your personality so that you can be with everyone in your life. You can lie to people and you don't have to lie to yourself. Accept the way you think and recheck as many times as you can and if you still feel that you are someone different when compared to others around you, then you must accept that you are different and proudly say to yourself that being different is okay and do not ruin your whole life by saying sweet lies to yourself just to convince people around you. What is the purpose of leading a life, if you don't provide a meaning it craves for? Keep your efforts in accepting truths and try your level best to convey the same truth to your soul and others. Crush the lies you say about what you feel about your body, your orientations, your preferences, your likes, and dislikes. Being queer is always okay and acceptable too. So, stop lying to yourself...