Queer love is as normal as straight love. Sometimes it sucks and spills toxicity too. Under the name of love, some queer people get into relationships that are extremely toxic and unhealthy, and due to various reasons, these people confine themselves to stay in such unhealthy relationships just to prove nothing but the fact of being in a relationship! That's unreasonable, unethical, and unfair on any queer person's part. Life gives us signs to warn us regarding a particular problem, but we don't recognize them and we mostly ignore them to get stuck up in critical situations!
Don't be over romantic and most importantly don't try to prove that queer love is eccentric. If you say "love is love", why don't you accept that "love can be broken too"? Accept the fact that your relationship may end one day no matter what. If you keep restricting yourself for the sake of proving to society that you are in a good queer relationship just to inspire others and to be like an idol, then you simply end up fooling yourself. That's some toxic shit.
If your queer partner raises his hand or tries to overpower you with her dominative behavior to hurt you physically, then you must surely think about coming out of your relationship instead of encouraging such toxic behavior by keeping calm and try to change your partner even though you know that he or she can never be changed. Physical abuse is an unhealthy factor. Every slap, every push, every bodily injury is a sign that you are with the wrong one!
Similarly, every emotional threat, every insult, every doubtful gesture, every demeaning and degrading phrase towards you, your lifestyle, and your choices, is a sign that you are being emotionally tortured by your partner. At the end of the day, even queer people are humans and bad exist in them too. So, your queer partner can be completely capable of causing a threat to you under the name of love and relationship.
If your partner commits physical and mental abuse towards you and covers it up every time by narrating a stupid story of professional pressures, personal issues, psychological fluctuations, and narcotic influences, you should stop giving a damn, and rush out of the relationship as soon as you can. Because it's unhealthy to encourage such behavior especially after forgiving your partner more than three times.
Internalized oppression is toxic to the core. If your partner tries to suppress you regarding your choices in any aspect of clothing, behavior, lifestyle, personality, orientation, and identity, it's a clear sign that he/she/they, demand you to be a trained pet not as a partner. Queer couples must understand each other's preferences, tastes, likes, and dislikes after getting into a relationship.
If you are repetitively getting forced to do something you disagree with and express the fact particularly, it shows that your partner doesn't value your opinion at all. And if you keep doing things which you don't like, you end making your life, a terrible mess. Don't give that chance to your partner. Try to interpret the signs and act accordingly.
If your partner expresses his anger, disgust, over-possessiveness by acting weirdly wild in bed, not in terms of giving pleasure but pain, then you must understand that he or she is trying to make you suffer by calling it sex or making love. Never encourage such behavior and if your partner forces you to have sex with him or her, even though you say no or deny any sensual activity, it's a sign that your relationship reaches its peak level of toxicity. Forceful sex is also physical abuse. Just because, you are in a relationship, doesn't give your partner to force you against your will.
Always remember, any kind of traumatic gesture that makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, you need to consider it as a sign that you are staying in an unhealthy relationship. And if you remain in such a relationship, it's your mistake too.
Don't get addicted to abuse and consider it as love. That's plain stupidity. If you degrade yourself psychologically and think that you won't get any other person who appreciates the way you are and restrict yourself to be with a person who hurts you all the time, then it's a sign that you are being completely swallowed up in your darkness. Come out of it and walk towards the light no matter what!
Queer relationships can be toxic too. Don't push yourself too much to be with the wrong person to prove to others that your choice is right. Sometimes you can be wrong too, and it is okay to be wrong. You can however prove to the world that you can emerge stronger out of a toxic relationship and can still find and believe in love!