Most of us have that fragment of illusion by thinking that we choose to love someone and we think we are the end decision-makers when it comes to choosing a person to fall in love with but indeed, it doesn't work that way especially when you can't differentiate between your desirable wants and essential needs. This is why it is easy to fall in love but difficult to be in love because many fail in perceiving the true notions of love. So basically, many of us think that we are in love but indeed we remain in a bubble that resembles love, but not love. Expertly, you get to comprehend it only when you choose your true love before love chooses you according to your heart's wants. Is it confusing you?
Well, so do your mind with a lot of options, desires, meaningless expectations and hopeful assumptions. Amidst these confusions, you lack clarity about what you want and what you need. Habitually people also lack particularity and practicality in the initial stages of dating by easily getting into a relationship that hardly survives because love being the most fundamental aspect would be absent in such fast-forwarded love tales. Plus, it doesn't mean people who fall in love in seconds, get married in months and start families in years lack love. In such cases, couples maintain the perspective of love as the most essential need than a desirable want. Now you must be understanding a little, right?
In this modern dating world where technology plays a vital role in bringing people to invest emotions in each other in the search for love, many things are getting diluted, neglected, overlooked and of course, taken for granted. Hence, it is effortless to fall in love and also easy to get out of love, but the sad part is, that particular phase where people quote it as "love", isn't love at all. Strictly speaking, materialistic pleasures are enacting a prominent role in choosing a person to even feel romantic. We, humans, tend to get attracted to others physically first and then psychologically, which is fine. But why do we humans still encourage those bodily attractions to influence psychological emotions, that lead us to assume that we are in love?
When you find someone online through dating-turned-hookup applications these days where people come up with acronyms like NSA, FWB and many more, you don't expect to find love because all you desire is to fulfil your carnal pleasures, sexual fantasies or just to relieve stress. But these online-based relationships sometimes may turn into something deep and people start hauling things further. If the relationship is made out of true love then a couple may get along with the flow of life but if it is influenced by the aspects of good physical chemistry and finer intimate tension, then that relationship falls apart soon after either one of them loses the zeal to have sex regularly or when one of them cheats on the other superficially. So, in this case, love chooses you because your heart wants to have a relationship out of sex, not out of needing a person to unite by a romantic bond.
In this world full of social validation; name, fame and money became the basic factors to determine a person's status and standards. This is the precise reason why nowadays relationships became transactional. The one who has good looks barter one's youth to the one who possesses good money and who's popular enough to sleep with. This materialistic exchange may become something fruitful in love after considering various situations and reasons but if a relationship pops out of it only to fulfil each other's materialistic pleasures, then do you think it can remain the same all the time without love? People tend to aging and face instability financially and socially. So love chooses you when your heart wants something it wants to uplift your life and lifestyle and that love is temporary. It stays eternally when you choose your love when you truly feel the need for being with a person as an ardent supporter in every possible way in sickness and health.
So what's your take on this? Every failed relationship of yours may retain one or the other reason that steers you to attract love to choose you according to your heart's desires. Needless to say, you must be practical enough to choose a partner who can provide you with everything you wish for, but you must not be practical materialistically by ignoring the element of having someone beside you to share every emotion of yours sanely. Your one is that someone whom you choose to love soulfully by putting effort and investing emotions as one of your essential needs which you cannot live without. Period.