top of page

It's all about that one question, "Ain't I good enough?"

And it has the capability of throwing a person into the bushes of dilemmas, depression and disturbance, especially in the process of searching for an answer even though one can't find it practically. In a queer person's life, this question remains inescapable because society never loses an opportunity to pose it. Even in this modern scenario where lines are gradually blurred in terms of identities and orientations, people derive this weird sadistic pleasure to make any queer person feel bad about one's existence, especially when that person lives life on one's terms against all the odds and typical societal norms.

"Ain't I good enough?" is the question that arises in a person's mind when that person befits in every perspective to engage with the events, activities and regular happenings, yet gets treated like no one because of one perspective that makes people talk about it unnecessarily with too much of irrelevance. Sadly many queer people in this world get attacked with microaggressions that are linked to their sexual orientations and gender identities just because their behavioural patterns and dressing terms don't get along with rigid and restrictive norms. If you are someone who struggles with this question consistently, it's high time for you to accept that you can never be good enough for people who are judgmental, ignorant and conservative.

Because no matter how successful you are in your career, how good you are in your manner, how healthy you are in your habitat, how lovely you are with other people, and how impressive you are with the world, people find excuses to ignore you and reasons to eliminate you. It doesn't specify your incapability, indeed it portrays their unworthy compassionate nature to give a thought about. On a broader spectrum, if you are good enough in every perspective with many people in this world, why do you have to question your existence when a particular set of judgmental people purposely demean you and when some ignorant perspectives poke you?

It is understandable to feel disappointed, disgusted and devalued when you get ignored by your close people, face disrespect from your loved ones, and encounter unpredictable situations by your trusted contacts in the form of abandonment, betrayal and neglect. It feels utterly devastating when one's family and friends neglect you because of your orientation and identity. It feels earth-shattering when you get to face the silly stupidity of people judging your appearance and presence based on norms that don't make any sense.

Unfortunately, it is one of the typical phenomena in any person's life who belongs to the LGBTQIA plus community. Here people have various orientations, different identities, out-of-the-ordinary fashion and style statements, countless queer encounters, numerous experiences and most importantly diverse personalities that crush all the irrelevant pre-laid societal norms that in-general heteronormative society follows. Imagine, if you are someone who purposely or unknowingly crushes most of those stereotypical norms, do you think any ignorant or conservative or rigid mindset person could pace with your existence easily? Not because of that person's restrictive values and narrow ethics that can't define humanity in fuller terms.

Hence, you can never be good enough to such people, but you are always good enough, in fact, more than good enough to the people who need you, cherish your existence, love your presence, get inspired by your personality, feel curious about your identity, express vulnerability towards your open mindset, show excitement to your endeavours, like to live life the way you lead on your terms, and most importantly people who want to be someone like you. Don't you think, you are already gifted enough for the maximum ratio of population in this world?

If your colleagues don't invite you to their house parties, don't include you in their social media groups, and keep throwing tantrums and statements about your lifestyle choices, then they aren't worth your time at all. Try to embrace yourself and start appreciating other people and paths in your life. Similarly, if some of your close-minded close friends judge you consistently on every aspect of your life, some of your relatives feel cautious and conscious about your presence at their events, some of your cousins don't like to face questions from others regarding your identity, then try to make peace with them by resting their souls in invisible deep areas at the back of your brains. Forget about their petty personalities and timid mindsets because they can't bring light to your life.

The sole way to answer this question is to ignore it as much as possible because it isn't worth giving a thought about, as this question only demotivates you instead of making you find peace and closure. So get rid of this baseless suspicion about yourself. You are always good enough until and unless you cause harm to other beings or yourself and you can never be good enough for people who don't know the true meaning of being a human. Period.

bottom of page