In this dominating world of sex, what if a person is demisexual introvert?
No matter how happy you are with your personality, deep down, we all struggle with some kind of problems and we invest our forever time to seek solutions to rectify those problems. Personally, a person's personality problems are more important than anything else, because they reflect the mindset of a person. Demisexuality is one of the sub orientations to all the core orientations. This means, a person can be gay and demisexual but unlike other gays, he can't get into every random person physically until and unless he found an emotional connection with a particular person. But, what if the same person is an introvert? Have you imagined such a person or have you ever encountered a demisexual introvert? Yeah, it's quite unimaginable, to sort that kind of personality to go out there and explore one's orientation!
First of all, if a person says that he/she doesn't want to have sex with random people or with anyone else, instead of understanding his/her orientation or preferences, we become philosophers and give lectures about finding a true person who can make him/her crave for sex! This is a human tendency, by default, we think that everyone should sleep with each other to satisfy their sexual pleasures. But in the case of a demisexual, sex comes as the last point of approving a relationship.
So, what happens to such people who live in a millennial society where sex is the first step of beginning a relationship? Especially when the dating-turned-hookup apps came into existence, having sex with a random person, getting into one night stands, and dealing with no-strings-attached relationships became a common thing in a person's lifestyle. A demisexual person who is closeted pretends to get along with this sex dominating world and the inside struggles are indescribable. It's like a pure vegetarian forcefully pretends to like pork bacon in front of him on his plate. That person can't get out of the chair and also can never imagine eating it.
And then come the open demisexuals who are considered as utterly picky and choosy enough just because they don't like having sex with every random person. Orientations must be explored, yes, then why don't you think a demisexual person is not exploring his/her orientation if he/she wants to have sex with a person with whom he/she has an emotional connection? Isn't it all about demisexuality? Then why people think demisexuals act pricey and take a lot of time to decide whether to have sex or not? Simply, having sex is an end matter whereas having an emotional connection is an initial preference. Hence, demisexuals prefer their partners with whom they are comfortable and pick trustworthy ones. Period!
Sometimes demisexuals misunderstand the emotional care and affection from their friends as love. Because it is all about attracting emotionally and hence, many demisexuals face this problem of falling for their close pals or friends and when they get to know their intentions and explore that their friends don't feel the same for them, then things become messy and difficult.
Comparatively, Open demisexuals can deal with their orientations, gender identities, romantic and sexual preferences in a more practical way than the closeted ones, and introvert demisexuals. When a person is open to society, which means he/she must be either extrovert or a converting extrovert. Hence, facing criticism and dealing with judgments around is kind of tolerable for them. Open demisexuals are the ones who play a crucial role in making people understand the value of demisexuality by opening up about their emotional needs, likes, dislikes, preferences, and sexual attractions too!
Introverts mostly have a hard time dealing with people outside. They don't like facing others. It doesn't mean that they are cowards; it's just interacting with people is not their style and this becomes one kind of a threat if that particular introvert is a demisexual. Normally, demisexuals take a good amount of time to understand a person, form emotional intimacy, and have an emotional bond, to get into further commitments personally, romantically, and sexually. But if a person is an introvert, the process bears a lot more time than expected. Because of that particular delay, there are chances that a person may feel demotivated, disgusted, and degraded before reaching his/her right person.
Society is influential, judgmental, and ridiculous sometimes. If a person doesn't have a strong mind or a courageous personality, people around can easily make that person as a target, when it comes to sexual orientations. If you are introverted and if you don't like crossing your limitations to explore your sexuality further, then it becomes difficult for you to meet the right person. And if you manage to meet the right person, only you can be able to say how much time will it take to explore that right person completely before getting sexually attracted to him/her. Hence, to cut off the long process, you must try to come out of your shell.
It is challenging for an introvert to open up more than he/she can. But a person can explore things only when he takes the risk and only when she can trust another person. It is okay not to possess sexual attractions for every person. It is okay if you don't like to portray your romantic life out there. And it is still okay if you don't like to get along with this current millennial dating trend. But it isn't okay if you stick to your introvert personality all the time, especially when you want to have someone beside you who shares love, care, and affection to you. Try breaking those emotional hurdles to explore someone emotionally!
#everydayqueerlife #towardslove #queerculture #demisexuality #introvertdemisexuals