Have you ever met someone capable of sounding the word "Queer" as a word of an embarrassment or annoying thing to describe? More than half of the population don't know the terminology and can't understand the sexual orientations. Hence, with their silly half-knowledge, they spill such demeaning and devaluing phrases that make any queer person feel uncomfortable, especially when a queer person come out for the people around him or her or them for the first time!
Sexual orientations are inescapable and impenetrable. Though you are closeted enough, the close people of yours always have a bare minimum idea of what you truly are. So, never assume your parents don't know about you. It's just some parents wait until you come out and some parents pretend they don't have an idea just to make sure they suppress your feelings and a few parents forcefully take decisions on behalf of you before you do something they never want you to do. Yes, we do have a lot of segregation of people when it comes to accepting a queer person in society. We have the good ones, bad ones, and the worst ones too!
"I always knew you were queer" - this particular statement can be taken in two ways. If your dearest ones like your mom, your best friend, or your cousin say that to you with a wink, tint of a smile, acceptance in the form of happiness in eyes, then you can consider it as love towards you and you can feel safe and secure to have people who perceive you inside out without even making an effort. Because they know what you are and what you are into! Isn't it an emotional and touching moment, when your mom says with a smile that she knows that you are queer since your childhood?
But a coin has two sides. So, do this particular phrase. An underlying microaggression is hidden behind this statement. You can get to know about that only if you bump into your childhood friends, mostly bullies, and also if you have to share your workspace or neighborhood with the typical homophobic crowd.
Get bullied or ragged or even molested are the few common aspects in the childhood of many queer people. Every person is born with sexual orientation. No one develops it while growing up. Of course, a person can be fluid towards his or her orientation in the future but every child showcases their tastes, likes, preferences, dislikes, moods in every possible way including sexual attractions, dressing choices, and behavioral patterns. Hence, in this dominated heterosexual school campus, a queer kid always gets attacked personally.
If you are a grown-up queer person and if you happened to encounter one of your school bullies who now know regarding your sexual orientation as you have already come out to the society, his opening line would be this - I always knew you were queer! Even he spills the same statement with a smile, but that could be fake or forceful or just to make a slight criticism! The thing is you need to know whether he really 'mean' that particular statement. Because if he would have known that you were queer back then in school, he could have been more supportive instead of bullying you. So, yeah, encourage and make a conversation with people who know you, who understand you, and who relate with you, not the ones who simply spill some senseless statements for the sake of their curiosity. Cut them off!
This scenario is moderately the same when a queer person opens up about his or her or their sexual orientation to the people in and around one's workspace or neighborhood or relatives or family members. Some queer people are extremely good at hiding their orientations by making themselves look completely straight even though they have to prefer a few things forcefully. Even from the queer community, you can't notice a few men and women as gays and lesbians, because they stereotypically look heterosexual enough. So, how a random ignorant heterosexual person who doesn't possess the fundamental knowledge of queer orientations can spill such a statement that portrays one's know-it-all personality? It's severely high time for you to shut their mouths by delivering a befitting reply.
A few colleagues from your work environment, a few cousins from your relatives, a few neighbors around you would say that they knew that you were queer. When they utter this phrase, look at the level of excitement on their faces. Because generally people who pass the microaggression towards a queer person, always carry hard expressions as if they get bothered because of your sexual orientation or your queer presence. Observe their opinion in their eyes and react to them by just asking a one-word question - "How come?"
A microaggressive person can never give a straight answer, and he or she tries to escape your question and ignore all together by just going away from you. A true supporter or a queer ally would say what one has observed in you and why one thought you were queer. You may expect a graceful answer or a judgmental one too. But at least that person prefers explaining to you. So, cherish such people and try to get rid of those know-it-all perverts. Fight the microaggression!