Feelings which turn you as "Queerphobic" in the queer community!

Other than heterosexuality, almost all the remaining sexual orientations come under the roof of the term "Queer" and combinedly named as the queer community and some call it as LGBTQIA+ community. So, when a particular set of people belong to the same community, why they have to be scared, embarrassed, disgusted, or portray hatred towards the other person who belongs to a different orientation?




If a straight person is homophobic, then somehow we can deal with that person by either educating him or ignoring her, or giving a befitting reply. But, what if you are a queer person and you have a phobia towards other orientations who belong to the same community? It's like hating your inner self and worse, it's like ruining your identity. Regrettably, most people in the queer community are kind of queerphobic with other queer people and in some cases, within themselves too.


To constitute a strong community, one must accept, support, and love each other. To make that happen, one must get rid of various demeaning, devaluing, and degrading feelings. It's easy when you realize and start working on yourself to start accepting others.




The feeling of self-disgust will take you nowhere. Self-acceptance is the only key that allows you to love yourself and recognize the importance of your orientation and how it helps you to survive further without looking back with regrets. This phenomenon is mostly witnessed in most of the queer teens who are kind of confused in realizing their sexual orientations.


It's okay to be confused. Keep exploring. Start saying to yourself that it is completely fine to take some time to understand your attractions and deal with all the fluctuations to figure out what you are. Accept the fact that you are queer and don't berate other queer people around you just because you are perplexed. Just go with the flow and grasp things whatever you experience on your path, but make sure you don't get diverted by unnecessary external influences.



Speaking of influences, if you think, cat-calling, eve-teasing, and bullying are cool acts. Then you must know the number of people who got affected by such senseless acts. So, next time, don't join if someone is trying to bully a group of queer people or a queer person who walk by you or even include you in conversations that degrade the queer community. Sometimes, without our knowledge, we get influenced by other people and do things just to look cool, but it indeed it's stupidity.


Don't even hear your parents if they say something against the queer community. Instead, raise your voice and throw a supporting statement, that's my dear, is cool.




Just because you are gay and you hate boobs, doesn't mean you need to hate lesbians and how they work their relationships. It's none of your business. When you say "Love is Love", it applies to every kind of love, regardless of sexual orientations and gender identities. Start respecting and valuing others' relationships and the emotion of love. Then you wouldn't feel any discomfort when you come across couples from other orientations. It applies to all the lesbians who hate gays and gay sex.



Don't be afraid and embarrassed whenever you come across transvestites on roads. Try to acknowledge them and their lives. You don't have to donate crazy money or build them houses; all you need to do is to treat them as fellow humans as they breathe the way you do. Instead of ignoring them, try looking into their eyes and talk. If you get irritated with their behavior, tell them, instead of shooting looks and spilling abuses. And don't generalize. If you come across one terrible person, it doesn't mean the whole world is filled with bad people.



If you have a transgender colleague or classmate or a family member or a friend, try to know about them and ask them how they like to be called and how they want to be treated. Transmen and transwomen face a lot of criticism every single day. Being a queer person, you must appreciate them and refer them according to the pronouns they like to be referred to.


If you are a bisexual and if you hate transgenders, it completely makes no sense. Don't be a hypocrite. If you think you are allowed to swing both ways, then you must accept the fact, that a person can be transformed and fall in love with another opposite-sex or same-sex person. Simple. Until and unless you accept the process of a particular orientation, you can't accept a particular person. And when you accept yourself with your gender identity and sexual orientation, apply the same rule to others too. This way, you can easily get rid of your feeling of hypocrisy.




Being a transformed person, especially being transgender is a hard thing to deal with. But that's completely out of your choice. If you want to match your soul with your body, the process becomes harder day by day, but that doesn't mean, the struggle of other queer people, especially the closeted ones is negligible. If you experience hardship, then you must understand the struggle of another person. Don't be extremely hard on other queer people, just because you have received it enough.



Finally, all the queer orientations, including gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, pansexuals, must comprehend the feeling of not getting sexually attracted to another person. It's as similar as to how you feel romantically attached to other people. Accept the aspect of asexuality and try to understand how asexuals work. As they are also included in the queer community, recognize their existence, and never force them to do something they don't like.


This New Year, we need to become stronger by understanding, accepting, communicating, mingling with other queer people to let the world know that being queer is all about love, not discrimination and hatred.