Have you ever felt that your gender isn't enough to fulfill your's or your partner's needs? Do you suddenly feel negative about your sex or gender? Fittingly, these questions aren't for Transgenders who struggle to match their souls to their bodies. These are for all the homosexuals out there who feel a little low about their genders and sexes which sometimes feel unmatched to the sexual orientation.
These kinds of thoughts and feelings arise in a person when the aspects of sexual satisfaction, physical appearances, and lifestyle choices come into the picture. People belong to any sexual orientation can be classified based on the genders, tribes, sexual roles, preferences, and attractions. Take an example of the gay community. Gays are segregated as Tops, bottoms, and versatile under the constraint of sexual roles. They are also further divided as twinks, jocks, daddies, bears, bulls, scruffs, and many more under tribes. Considering the aspect of femininity in a male, people have divided gays into macho and effeminate. There are too many classifications to handle.
In the same way, lesbians are categorized as butch and fem. They are further classified according to their closeted status, bisexuality, dressing sense, and behavioral patterns like a tomboy, power lesbian, lipstick lesbian, hasbian, and many more tribes. The fundamental point is, being in one community, we separate ourselves into many things which make us feel that we are never enough to satisfy the other person. Before breathing under one roof, you would be dragged to tag yourself with other labels to fit under another sub-classified roof. This is one of the main reasons, why most of the homosexuals feel negative about their genders and sexes. An effeminate gay knows how it feels like to get suppressed when he sees something ultimately feminine and deliberately wants to try it. A butch lesbian gets to know how bad it feels when she has to use a strap-on to satisfy her partner in bed. A manly hunk gay knows how it feels like to hang out with his effeminate partner without being judged. A fem lesbian constantly struggles hard to introduce her girlfriend who looks not lesser than a guy just to get rid of unnecessary consequences. These are a few examples. In real life, all the homosexuals feel they aren't enough to satisfy themselves and satisfy their partners.
With a lot of classifications inside the community and facing struggles every day outside the community, people around us always make us feel that we are never enough to complete ourselves. This negative feeling will vanish wholly when you take charge of yourself to appreciate your orientation. From childhood, until we come out of the closet, we struggle with our feelings in the dilemma of right and wrong. And after we come out as a true homosexual, society makes us feel whether we are right or wrong. And if you give a lot of thoughts about the judgmental criticism around you, that will make you doubt yourself and your capability for being yourself. First and foremost, consider homosexuality as something natural and not some made-up rubbish just to fulfill our sexual pleasures with same-sex people. If you remain a lesbian and if you think that being a male would match you better so that you can satisfy your girlfriend with a penis, then consider yourself as an ashamed homosexual. Because you appreciate the sensual connection of heterosexuality. So, what about your orientation? Lesbian sex work without a human penis. Period.
Similarly gays, especially the ones whose femininity is uncontrollable. Be proud that you can carry a feminine personality within you instead of hiding in public and behaving like someone you are not. People judge you and it's their issue. If you feel concerned about your effeminate personality, it says that you aren't clear about your orientation. Effeminate gays can never be considered as Transgenders. So when someone poses a question to you by tagging you as transgender, don't get offended. Just make them clear about your orientation instead of moving away. Because that gives you confidence about yourself and that achieves you feel positive about your orientation.
Shouting out aloud in pride marches don't make you a true queer. If you aren't true to yourself and if you don't feel contented of being with your partners in public or bed, then you still need to work on your orientation. Strictly speaking, a gay couple must have anal penetration, and a lesbian couple must consider fingering or strap-on-sex as their sex routine. This is how the sensual connections work among homosexuals. And if you feel that your gay partner should have a vagina or else your lesbian partner might need your penis, then it's time to recheck your mindset and biological knowledge. Genders and sexes are occupying a major role in demeaning sexual orientations. Do you think your genitals have everything to do with your sexual orientation? Do you need to label yourself under every classification made by some random person? Do you have to suffer people's negative influential thoughts in your mind to ruin your relationships and especially your mental peace? Chuck all those external sources, just focus on how you feel and instead of assuming, ask your partners, how they feel. Simple!