Fall apart to fall back !

Talking, thinking, and getting into relationships is very easy for all of us who are in love. But maintaining and holding a relationship is one difficult task for every one of us. With or without the presence of the element of love, we all have to experience many hurdles emotionally and mentally to endure a relationship further, especially romantic relationships. And most importantly, the queer romantic relationships. Regardless of gender and orientations, love is love. We all must accept it but when it comes to the people from the queer community, the struggles of being in a relationship with another queer person, say it gay, lesbian, transgender, asexual, pansexual, etc. are quite harder.


Though you manage to get accepted by your kin and kith, sometimes you still feel the society could never accept what you are and the person whom you are in love with. Acceptance enacts a prominent role in a queer couple's life intentionally and unintentionally. Some of us stand against society to fight for our love but deep down, we crave acceptance and normality instead of being judged and left out. Many queer couples are getting separated daily because of the acceptance scenario, unfortunately sometimes self-acceptance too! Sexual orientations make us liberal to prefer our sexual and romantic partners who may even turn into our life partners or soulmates. But the same orientations also can create confusion and unnecessary attractions which affect the relationships. Can we ever question a bisexual person regarding his infatuation towards another female while he is already in a relationship with a man? Never. Because that's how the orientation works. On the contrary, orientations are never uncontrollable. Only love has the power to make a person suppress his/her emotions regardless of orientations. But you need to work on you to allow love to work on your relationship.


Miscommunication, misunderstanding, cheating, overthinking, over possessiveness, over caring and protection, doubtfulness, rigidity, suffocation out of love, freedom restrictions, lustful personality are some of the reasons for a couple to think about getting out of the relationship. Like how physical appearances are distinctive from each other, the same way, the mental identities also differ from person to person. Hasn't your face evolved into various shapes from your childhood to date? You must have seen a few changes in yours and others' appearances. Then why don't you consider the fact that mentalities and psychological personalities of people also evolve and change accordingly? Please don't make a fool of yourself that you have been the same person since your childhood. Dump that trash right away because that mentality of yours would never work.


If you are a person who breaks a relationship because of physical appearances then you must understand that your so-called handsome or pretty face, encounter wrinkles at one stage and get ready to experience the loneliness. Period! If you leave your partner when you find a worthier rich person than him/her, then you are on your way to dig yourself deeply from which you can never come out. Because you would be left out just like a piece of rag. Relationships work with emotions, not with money.


If you consider your career and family over your soulful love and the person who could shower love and affection on you better than anyone else, then you would be blessed with everything in your life. Money, name, fame, and also acceptance, but not love. People who portray unconditional and self-sacrificing love are irreplaceable. All the previous situations are quite materialistic and people who have a lust towards the body, money, and fame, they can never be happy in relationships. But if you think your relationship is getting withered because of the psychological issues, then you must stay strong and handle it to save yourself, your partner, and your relationship.


Psychological constraints play a major role in many breakups, especially in the queer community. Because of the past experiences, inner struggles of sexual orientations, the unaccepted environment around, and lifestyle choices, the psychology of a queer person may go unbalanced in various phases of love. Every person from the LGBTQIA+ community faces many hurdles in every possible way. Being considered as gender minorities we are the first ones to get judged, sometimes by others and sometimes by ourselves. Hence, many of the queer couples face that imbalance in relationships with each other. If you think you love your partner than anyone else but you also face certain gaps because of the psychological constraints of either of you, then you must fall apart. Taking a break or sometimes breaking up a relationship can be more helpful than anything else. Breaks work the opposite way in relationships when they encounter psychological hurdles.


Have you observed the season of Fall? The trees shed their leaves off, get rid of its old aged leaves to bloom the new ones. There is beauty in both shedding and blooming too. Similarly, if you bind by an inseparable bond, then you will fall back in love with your partner when you experience the break in your relationship. Providing space and taking space in the form of breaks and breakups will make you appreciate the value of a relationship. What else a human can do than going back to his/her most loved ones, when one comes to know the strength of the connection with one's partner besides allowing a huge gap between them.


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