Don't try hard to be good at it - NSFW
Everyone wants to be the best in terms of sex and score high and always strive hard to be on top or as a best-performing person. Sex is one activity in which we humans want to set our goals high more than our careers. Why do we compete with ourselves to be the best in sex? Why do we get easily disappointed when we perform badly in bed? Why do we try so hard to be good at it? Is it to impress your partner or to boost up your sensual ego levels?
Sexual satisfaction is important for a person to fulfill one's sensual desires and one's partner too. But that doesn't mean one has to go beyond the limitations in the assumption of performing well. What's the meaning of sex in your dictionary? Is it for attaining physical pleasures or to get emotionally connected? Because the term sex can be seen in two different ways. One set of people views it as a mode of relieving stress or to fulfill erotic fantasies. The other set of people considers it as a medium of expressing love by caressing one's partner sensually.
You can try hard by swallowing pills, using drugs, performing various sexual positions, trying sensual fantasies, and experiment with sexual fetishes, but all these techniques have their own set of pros & cons, only a person who understands the depth of sex would try. Most of these techniques would be followed by a person to spice up one's sex life, which implies to all the experienced people. If you are a beginner in sex or else if you are deeply in love with your partner, you don't have to try hard to be good at it as others, especially if you treat sex as a mode of emotional expression.
Never expect too much or assume the sensual pleasure in a completely different way. If you keep expecting high from yourself or your partner, you surely end up in deep disappointments. Be blank and just treat it as a date where your naked body meets your naked partner.
Don't prepare excessively and don't consume things that you have never tried. Of course, you must try once to experience the effect of any pill or popper. But don't try it out when you have to be sensually engaged with your special someone. Save all those extra consumptive efforts for others or future sexual adventures. Don't ruin your moment by trying something for the first time. Keep it simple and subtle. All you need is a condom or a lube to have smoother penetrations.
You don't need to dress up fashionably to have sex with your partner until and unless your partner has some fetish towards a particular kind of clothing. Wear some decent lingerie or pick some funky underwear by keeping yourself hygiene to smell good. Simple. You don't have to go out for sexy and slutty lingerie shopping to raise the temperature. Very few people know how to carry them well. So, don't mess it up by spending time and money to make a fool out of yourself if you don't know how to pull off stockings and G-strings. What if your partner mistake you for a gigolo or a sex worker after seeing you in such lingerie? Why make things complicated?
Don't compare yourself with porn stars you watch daily. That's the reel work and you need to do real work. Porn stars get the breaks, re-takes, cast, and crew to take care of them, cameras around them rolling whenever they feel like committing a sensual action. Come out of that la-la land and try to adapt the reality. Just because your favorite porn star splits his legs to perform a rare sex position, you don't have to do that to look cool in front of your partner. If something wrong happens, you can never think about sex ever. So, be careful. Treat your favorite porn star as your sensual idol, not as your inner consciousness.
Don't have sex to impress your partner. Because in the process of impressing, you surely commit blunders. Never try hard to give your partner his/her best sex experience ever. At least, don't approach with that mindset. Keep calm and do your work and let things unfold like the sheets on your bed. Many people, especially men and gay tops, try to penetrate hard just to give a wild impression. That's not at all needed. Because if you go wild and intense, you miss the smooth flow of that physical connection. Then what's the difference between being with your partner or being with someone who gets paid for sex? Give it a thought!
Just be with your partner and nothing else. Do you know what's intense than penetrating wildly or trying out crazy sex positions or consuming erotic drugs? Looking into the eyes of your partner and slowly getting into him/her physically! This particular way of connecting two physical bodies with telepathic emotional connection is the most intense thing one can do during sex and at this moment, you can be sure of giving your partner a good sensual experience.
Forget about your surroundings and the world. Wrap him up in your cozy hug, look into her eyes, send the warmth by kissing his lips, whisper in her ears by asking her comfort, slowly get into him by inserting yourself, go in and out of her sensually, smile at him, play with her hair strands, communicate with your expressions, understand your partner's body, tease with your regular sensual moves or tactics, make love by being with your partner, not elsewhere!
Now ask yourself, do you have to be hard enough with yourself or with your partner to be good at sex and behave like someone else out of sensual inspirations from others, in the thoughts of giving your partner, the best sex experience. No need for all those advanced and experienced efforts. If you are an amateur, be like one and behave like one. Because that makes the real you and make you understand the meaning of making love or having sex emotionally and physically with less effort and a great experience.
