top of page

Do not rush to the right answer...

Always ask the right question. We, humans, are conscious, cautious and also curious souls. We prefer instant noodles than a fully processed time taking lasagna. We just rush in every aspect of life. We rush in thinking, we rush in concluding and we also rush in messing up things. This is what happens in the queer community nowadays. Previously, people were patient enough to struggle, suffer and also to lead a happy queer life. It took decades for many of the earlier queer activists to build up the strong community. It was slow but it was also effective enough that now no one can break the World's LGBT community. We are too strong enough to handle the criticism now. Now, the millennial trend is kind of rushing. We are experiencing various techniques and technologies every single day. We are rushing in developing ourselves and we are also rushing in ruining ourselves too.

Coming out as gay is still a big deal in India. People who came out early have struggled enough to set their paths to lead a better life. Some people have managed but some people couldn't take the criticism and ended up their lives untimely. The queer community has faced many deaths due to various reasons, mostly family, societal and mental issues. And it is still the same. It is always good to be open and find the paths which match your choices in every aspect. But it is also equally important to recheck the paths they want to choose and travel at the right point of time, which needs a balance in way of thinking.

Average age to realize a person's sexual preferences and sexual urges are mostly 12-13 years and the moods of teenagers are highly unpredictable. They struggle a lot to find the answers to their plenty of questions. Thanks to the social media and current millennial movies and web series and books, children who are queer can recognize themselves and the category they fall under, especially in sexual orientations. And some people realize a bit late and some people prefer to choose orientations because of their previous situations and some people are fluid enough to jump from one choice to another. No matter what kind of perspective, it is, a person always falls into an extreme dilemma, when it comes to feelings, emotions, love, lust, and sex, which create confusion at the end.

And this is the very initial for any person to find the clarity. There must be a hell lot of questions webbed up in a person's mind to find an answer. Some try to find it through sleeping with people around, some try to find through the resources, some try to find from the people who already have some clarity about themselves. It is always best to find an answer to a question about one's sexual orientation. Because orientations are linked up to many issues inside out of a person. Confusion kills personal harmony and makes a person feel disturbed. Hence, to come out of it and expecting a clear life, a person starts rushing for the right answers.

Unlike others, we the queer, always end up having questions, even though we have good clarity about ourselves because society always makes us think through its judgmental criticism. Though we are good at striking them off, deep down, we still give it a thought at the end of the day. Come on, we are humans and it is completely okay to overthink, but it is not okay to conclude without considering facts in and around us. It's the same with a person who is a strictly closeted introvert and a person who is openly proud of an extrovert. We all rush to the right answers. Only a few of us think with utmost patience and make a move in the concept of love and life, both.

We skip too many questions because we are scared of unable to find answers and hence, we stick to the answers which satisfy our assumptions. Sometimes, it is difficult to digest a few answers, but in the long run, they help us to excel further. If you are struggling to find the right answer, then keep efforts in posing the right question. For all the queer people, coming out is a very attempt. It needs a lot of courage to present themselves through society criticizes. And this includes too many questions about future consequences and the turns in one's life. Instead of getting influenced by people, the motivated quotes, the slogans in pride marches, the community speeches, your friends who are open and the queer couples who are getting married and many more inspirational stories, just think from your perspective, because at the end of the day, you are the person who should lead your life under any circumstances.

Coming out as queer is always suggested and recommended, for your good and clear life. But it should come within you, you don't have to be forced by others and by yourself too. Sometimes we get overly inspired by people around us and in the rush of experiencing a new life, we may end up messing it wholly. Your career may be spoiled, your family may not accept you then, you may lose your friends, your whole life may be changed with a single coming out social media post. Just breathe, question yourself, whether you are ready or not. Question yourself whether you can take the criticism or not. Question yourself whether you can be independent or not. Question yourself whether you are sure about your feelings or not. Question yourself whether you will be okay or not. Keep yourself in both the best and worse situations. Think about whether you can be able to handle yourself in both situations equally.

Your right answer is coming out as a queer person and leading a happy queer lifestyle with the person you love. The answer is constant. But for that, you need to check yourself with hundreds of the right questions. If every question gives you strength with its the answer, then yeah reach to the final destination by pulling yourself altogether to face your new life!

bottom of page