Chapter 9 - Corollaries...


Too many side effects.

There will be side effects for every single aspect in life, be it medically, biologically, emotionally, personally, professionally and even financially too. One can never skip those side effects of life aspects. Because those by-products are important for the result. They depress you, they degrade you, they make you suffer, but in the end, they make you healthily stand on your legs.



Corollaries are such side effects, which come along with instincts, something which is added and superfluous. I wanted to use this word to mention the side effects of Hannah's transformation when he was explaining every single detail of his story. Side effects/added causes for a Transgender person are always more and come with a larger package than any other person. Because, at the same time, they have to deal with two bodies and two souls. The package would be heavier. Likewise, being a Trans-man, Hannah also had to suffer these corollaries in the form of medical and emotional side effects.


For a transgender person, the emotional side effects are more painful than the surgical side effects. The amount of judgmental criticism is always too much to handle for a transgender person which makes that particular person transforms into a low-degraded soul or an aggressive one. Both cases are harmful to society. Because of these emotional side effects, some are giving up their lives by committing suicide and some are aggressively behaving in the society which is indeed degrading the value of the Transgender community.


In the case of Hannah, he has emotionally degraded by his family members, friends, cousins, and society. He lost hopes on his transformation from female to male. Though he wanted to be a man these emotional side effects have made him weak and hopeless. Fortunately, Tabassum has entered into his life and changed the direction of his thoughts by becoming a ray of hope in his life. He got someone, who has accepted the way he was (in a female form) and encouraged Hannah to transform into the body he desired to match his soul. Tabassum and Hannah have decided together to get into a relationship and marry each other after Hannah's transformation.


This 23-year-old couple has successfully planned the whole transformation process. They have approached doctors, talked to them, analyzed the whole process, financially set up for the initial steps of transformation, got approvals from a psychologist, took testosterone shots on the advice of the doctor in Delhi. Dr. Kaushik, Dr. Raghav, and Dr. Arun have played a vital role in Hannah's transformation. But the medical side effects faced by Hannah were intense. They were scary indeed for a person to feel the change which was new and different.



Those testosterone shots were the artificial hormones, which injected into the body to make those hormones spread whole over the body. Hannah had to get injected twice in a month. Soon after her first testosterone shot, he felt dizzy, uneasy, vomiting sensations and were about to faint. His fingers were swollen and some of his body parts became painful after the first shot of testosterone. The situation was quite inexplicable because that was the first time, a female body was reacting to the male hormone. Slowly, after a few shots, Hannah's body started reacting to the male hormones in a good way and gradually, the female hormones in Hannah's body got substituted with Male hormone called Testosterone.


The side effects weren't easy to handle and Hannah indeed felt torturous, but the feeling of getting transformed has dominated the pain and he started enjoying the pain too because he traveled in the trance of transforming into a man. Emotionally he was strong when he was medically struggling during the initial phases of transformation. Because, Tabassum stood by his side, accompanied him in every single session. They worked together, they transformed together, they understood and they faced the judgments together.



Hannah started taking these testosterone shots in July 2018 and as he was a female at that time, he expected his periods would stop the next month. But, unfortunately, that didn't happen, because it was too soon for a person to get transformed into another gender. On August 23rd, 2018, she got her periods again. That time, the bleeding was heavy, the cramps were unbearable. He felt his bones were getting crushed, he had a severe headache and body pains for those three menstrual days. He felt confused and his excitement levels got dropped all of a sudden. He approached his doctors and have seen a few transformation videos, which has mentioned that it takes 4 months for a person to transform from one gender to another. Hannah disappointed a bit, but consoled himself, because he has waited so long till then, he convinced himself by saying to his soul, that he could wait for four more months.  



After Hannah returned from his hometown in Bangalore to Delhi in September, he started observing changes in the vocal cords. The bass of his voice slowly got elevated like males. In October and November, the periods got stopped which portrays his male transformed personality. He was no more a female and he could also see the shrinking of breast fat. In December, Hannah has experienced his first-ever facial hair growth. The pubic hair, body hair, and facial hair growth were on Hannah's body and he was indeed happy after so much of a medical struggle to get transformed into a man. But that was just an initial phase of the transformation.


After experiencing several body changes, Hannah has approached Dr. Arun for consulting regarding the body changes. The doctor has suggested a Liver test to check the hormonal ratio in the body and also to check any discrepancies inside the body. Fortunately, Hannah's body has reacted well for the testosterone shots and also for the body transformation. In Hannah's case, the process of transformation was indeed fast. Hence, the doctor has reduced the intake of testosterone shots from twice a month to once a month to get rid of overdosing the process.



Since, January 2019, Hannah has undergone the initial phase of the transformation through getting injected with testosterone hormone to get ready for the surgical transformation. It's exactly one year since Hannah has been taking testosterone shots. This July 2019 marks one year of her initiative towards the transformation from a female to a male.


The change process was never easy. It included too many steps, too many approvals, too many tests, too many struggles, and too many side effects too. Hannah has medically struggled a lot to prepare his body for the surgical transformation which is going to be happening in the further months when he financially, mentally, emotionally and physically get ready to hit the operation theater to make his dream come true that is to be a real man physically to connect his soul to his body.


There are many corollaries arise in the natural and medical process of any person's transformation. Side effects and products are always good and necessary to get a result. Though Hannah has suffered a lot during the process of transformation, now he can speak out and stand for himself and Tabassum against all odds to prove a human being's ability and right to lead the life the way, one love. Hence, the first edition of Hannah's story has successfully ended with the completion of the initial phase of the transformation.


When Hannah has explained his story, he almost seemed like a man with his facial hair and strong voice, he resembled a man totally. I couldn't find any difference between a normal man and Hannah being a Trans-man. I interviewed him and listened to his whole roller-coaster journey in April 2019. Well, interviewing a queer person is all about knowing one's views about society and the LGBT community. Hence, when I posed a few questions, he came up with really heart touching answers.


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