Chapter 8 - The details...

Details are important. They make a person stick to the facts regardless of remembrance. And those details can be in written form or else in the form of thoughts. The details which a person can remember for whole life by storing it in the brain are those details which may either make the person utmost happy or deeply sad. And those details are powerful to lead life securely.


Perhaps, Hannah's memory was too powerful to remember every detail about how she met Tabassum and how she met the man inside her body in the form of the soul in the process of transformation. Or perhaps, she has gone through some truly happy moments and also ridiculous criticism which made her feel furious and mostly degraded. When asked about how she met Tabassum, she has mentioned her serendipitous story, but it was not romantic, indeed it was totally scary for Hannah, where she felt she would get rejected.


At Hassan's Chai place in Nizamuddin, in 2018 Jan 28th Morning at 8 AM, Hannah met Tabassum. The detailed memory. Hannah was sad at first because Tabassum couldn't recognize her even though those people have been video calling for 2 years. This somewhat made Hannah felt bad initially but felt happy after she came to know that Tabassum overlooked her. Tabassum approached Hannah with a wide smile and hugged Hannah. They went to Lodhi garden at 9 AM. But it was quite an uncomfortable situation for Hannah because she was in feminine clothing with long hair. Hannah always wanted to meet  Tabassum after her transformation to Male. But fate has written another story. Sometimes, bad situations and problems can be solutions for life. The indecent and rude behavior of Hannah's cousins made her approach Tabassum, the person who changed the view of Hannah's life.


After 2 months of continuous job search in Delhi, by leaving family members back in Bangalore after struggling and starving for days, Hannah and Tabassum both got placed in American Express, in March, where they worked for 6 months together. Again, it was indeed a good thing for Hannah, that she wasn't able to get placed in any of the big companies in Bangalore right after graduation just because of people's confusion on Hannah's sexual orientation and mostly criticism. Hence, she ended up looking for jobs in Delhi. This decision has changed her life which made her settled personally, professionally and financially (most important).


Money is everything in the current scenario. And bucks play a vital role in transforming a female to a male medically. Which includes, a lot of procedure, permissions, people, and pesos. Hence, after earning some money from her job in Delhi, Hannah flew back to Bangalore to visit her home. But this time, she made a choice and also executed by chopping off her long hair into shorter ones like Men. Everyone was shocked. She was courageous enough to take an initiation which was like a lead for her future. Her mom and brothers didn't utter a word, but her sister-in-laws shown their hypocrisy by pointing out in her and her lifestyle.


Mixed opinions irritated Hannah much. Though her mom and elder brother did support her, situations at home were degrading day by day between her and her family members. So, Hannah has decided to leave back to Delhi to start a better future with Tabassum in Delhi. But it wasn't so easy, because, Hannah was still a female and she desperately wanted to be a Male.


Meanwhile, in May, Hannah and Tabassum decided to visit Dr. Kaushik, the surgeon who performs transgender operations for many people in India. It was the first time, they both have met the doctor. In the hospital, they found many transgender people who were in the middle of the process and also visited to know the details. Most of them were male to female Transgenders and only Hannah was the person who approached the doctor to get transformed from female to male. When the doctor asked about Tabassum to mention why she has accompanied Hannah that day, she gave a heart-touching answer by saying that she was Hannah's wanna be a life partner. Dr. Kaushik was impressed with her answer and continued with the explanation of the procedure.


The process of transformation requires Psychologist approval regarding sexual orientation. If the approval is positive, then the person will be given "Testosterone" shots twice a month for 6 months. After testosterone levels get stable and if everything is normal, then the person can go through surgical procedures. Which indeed includes two major surgeries, one is top surgery and the second one is bottom surgery. For a Trans-man, the top surgery is all about removing the breasts and implanting the flat chest with nipples. The bottom surgery is all about substituting Vagina with Penis implantation. These surgeries are painful and also a costly affair too. The top surgery would cost a person 1 lakh and the bottom surgery costs around 3 lakhs. Altogether, a person needs around 5 lakhs to get transformed from a female to a male, legally, medically and biologically.


After listening to all the details, Hannah, without thinking twice, she has agreed to continue with the process as soon as possible. But at first, she had to visit Dr. Raghav, a renowned psychologist in Delhi, on the suggestion of Dr. Kaushik. After thoroughly researching the unmatched body and soul of Hannah, Dr. Raghav, happily approved that Hannah must need a surgical transformation from female to male. The answers of Hannah has impressed Dr. Raghav because he could feel the pain and frustration in her words being in a wrong body.

Then, on the suggestion of Dr. Raghav, Hannah had to approach Dr. Arun, a sexuality expert and the doctor who prescribed Hannah, the dosages of Testosterone. As Hannah was a female, she needed male hormones in her body for the male characteristics to be visible physically. Which means, Hannah had to take those testosterone shots, so that her female traits would be substituted with male characteristics like Masculine Vocal base, development of facial hair and body hair, shrinking of breast fat and balancing of testosterone levels in various body parts as required for a male person.


There are a lot of procedural steps included for a transgender person to transform from one body to another body to match the soul. It is not a simple task and cannot be done overnight. It is a huge process and takes years to get transformed. The pain included in this process is inexplicable but every transgender person says only one thing that pain doesn't matter in front of the happiness which occurs from the pleasure of getting transformed to establish their identities in the society without faking. But, our society never understands the pain of a transgender person and hence, they criticize and hurt them in every possible way. When asked about the Pain, Hannah smiled sarcastically and said, it was a pleasure! "HE" further explained how he suffered during the transformation in his words.


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