Can we let bygones be bygones in a relationship?

Relationships are challenging for many of us, sometimes they are torturous too in an emotional way. The pain in relationships has more effect than the pleasures in relationships. That's one odd point of these romanticizing relationships. All the arguments, issues, fights, cold wars, unacceptable behavior, and breakups are the emotionally painful things one person face in a relationship.

Breakups are burdensome aspects of love and the consequences of those breakup patterns are even more tiresome issues. To get rid of these, some choose not to get into a relationship and some choose to get back to their respective partners by sorting out the issues in between them. Some toxic creatures still love to be in a relationship with their toxic partners no matter what. These people still allow their partners to cheat on them for fifty fucking times and still be happy with them. Indeed, they pretend to be happy just to skip the negative side of the love dogma and to get rid of the societal relationship pressure of not having a partner beside you, especially when you attend for family get together parties or friends reunions.

Do you accept your partners' mistakes if he/she commits the same annoying and disgusting mistake for too many times? Can you bear the pain of being cheated on by your partners? Or do you fear about losing your partner for someone else if you confront him/her for the mistakes they commit? Does singlehood kill you so badly deep inside your heart, so that you just ignore all the mistakes your partner commit in your relationship? Are you confused about your state and your status in a relationship? Do you like to be in a complicated relationship than being single? Answer these emotional digging questions for yourself and come to an opinion whether you can let bygones be bygones?

It is never the same, the relationship between you and your partner, the day you find that your partner committing an emotional and physical blunder with you and your relationship. Even though you think everything would be alright after all the shit that has happened between you and your partner, the fragrance of the relationship gets diluted no matter how many rose petals you scatter in your romantic relationship. The mistake always going to be portrayed as a mistake, even after your 60 years of relationship.

There is always a fine line difference between a mistake and the effect of a mistake. One can easily ignore other mistakes, but can never really get rid of the marks left by those mistakes and by the people. The effects are more effective than the concept of the mistake. For suppose, one fine day, you come to know that your partner is cheating on you and you as a couple, encounter each other's mistakes and tries to sort them off rather than dragging them to breakups, but do you really feel the same freshness and charisma of your partner knowing that he/she was cheating on you? Well, forgiveness is the best thing to practice to escalate the relationship to another level. But forgetting the mistakes is a difficult task.

Strictly speaking, no one can forget the pain in a relationship. It's just we skip feeling the pain by either numbing through different approaches in saving a relationship or by just trying to ignore the pain and leave it for the healing process. In the process of healing, most of us choose to let bygones be bygones and focus on refreshing the relationship with a fresh start one more time. Mentally, we may come to this opinion, so easy just to stay with our partners and dump all our mistakes, but emotionally the pain pinches in our heart every time we think about it. We are just humans. Getting back to the past is a common thing we do. And when we do that, we feel bad. So indeed, we never let those bygones be bygones. The effect of those bygones still be in use till the grave or till the end of that particular relationship.

So what can a person do instead of letting bygones be bygones? With a clear perspective, one must be either emotionally and mentally so strong to not to get ever related to the issues one has with one's partner at any point of a lifetime. Or else, one must depart from the relationship on good terms rather than stretching it to another side with bitter experiences. If a person commits the same mistakes for too many times, it clearly shows that particular person is either bored or addicted to make the same mistake or giving you signs for the end of the relationship. It's just people don't like to end romantic relationships so easily, hence they continue them till they last just to make each other feel happy, which they indeed won't be happy.

In relationship criteria, rather than struggling with the effects of those bygones left by the mistakes or faults by a person, it's better to end the relationship. The Toxicity of a relationship always leads to drastic changes in a negative way for both the partners. Let bygones be bygones, only and if you are emotionally strong enough to eradicate the effects of those bygones on you, your partner and your relationship. So, you are the one who must decide and choose the right option as your answer to the question in the title. And yeah, the answer varies from one person to another. So be smart enough to handle yourself than depending on others.