Another notorious phrase that is always directed towards every queer person by almost every heterosexual. If you consider a particular man or woman as your queer ally and hear this particular statement, then he or she isn't your ally but a queerphobic person. We have tons of them around the queer community who masquerade themselves as queer allies but indeed spill the intense microaggression towards the community. Instead of supporting and accepting a queer person, they pretend to be okay with orientations other than heterosexuality but indeed they never accept any queer person from the bottom of their hearts. It's such a pity, that we, the queer people become easy targets for their microaggression statements.
Generally, this happens when a queer person encounters new people, be it in the workplace or the neighborhood or sometimes with the family and relatives. It's so disgusting some people use this particular phrase as their opening line whenever they meet any queer person. There is an underlying hatred, unacceptance, embarrassment, and criticism behind this phrase.
A few straight men and women assume that they may get involved sexually or physically when a queer person reveals one's sexual orientation. They feel so cautious and conscious about themselves unnecessarily. They think that every queer person wants to sleep with them or hit on them regardless of the standards of that particular gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender. This is completely unhealthy and absurd, but somehow most of the queer people face it and just strike the phrase off with a smile.
But that's not how you should handle an ignorant. One must teach a proper lesson to let the other person understand the value of one's orientation and kill all the baseless assumptions, so that next time, that ignorant won't behave the same way with other queer people.
Haters are always better than these passive-aggressive criticizers. At least they portray their homophobic personalities without any filters which are still manageable and a queer person can still try to change such homophobic people. But these microaggressive ones always wear a typical filter which seems like they accept a person but they easily flip their personalities when they are among the crowd or in public. They go with the stereotypical norms of society.
If you love someone or if you say you accept someone, you must do it completely and be with that person as a true supporter. There's no such thing called partial-acceptance and supporting a person according to the situation because there is no point in such support. Do you know how a queer person feels when a random heterosexual says that he or she is okay until and unless he or she is involved in the queer activities or just okay in watching pride parades but feel attacked when they have to participate in them? It sucks, truly.
When someone feels vulnerable in opening up one's queer sexual orientation, if you think you are a queer ally, you must consider the person as normal as any other person instead of spilling statements that make sure you won't get involved in his/her queer life. No one wants you to be involved, you can always observe or just see a particular person's life. Involvement can only happen when the other allows you to get involved. If not, you always remain a spectator of any person's life.
So, my dear fake queer supporter, don't even try considering yourself as the centerpiece of any queer person's life. If someone tells you their orientation when they introduce themselves, that means he or wants the world to know who he or she is, in a completely transparent way. Stop twisting the story around you and most importantly stop giving the cold shoulder if you can't allow a person to lean on your shoulder as support.
To all the queer people, next time if someone utters this phrase, instead of neglecting it, please stand up for yourself. Forewarn them that you are not expecting any kind of involvement at all and prove that you have your support for being yourself. Always remember, a true supporter always gets excited for recognizing you, for supporting and helping you, for making you feel comfortable. Many heterosexual queer allies embrace and accept the queer community without any judgmental criticism. All you need to do is to find and be with a true supporter instead of encouraging these fake ones!