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Are you fine being just a "Roommate" for your partner?

Privately, if you represent the love of your partner's life but publicly if you are confined to the position of a roommate who shares the same abode, then do you feel completely okay with that kind of public image even though you are truly into each other with utmost romantic attachment? Typically, this is one of the current issues which is seen in most of the queer couples dating scenarios. Unfortunately, this is becoming an emotionally traumatic issue for people who are already out of their sexual closets.



It's hard for an openly queer person to be consistently tagged as just a friend or a roommate or a colleague from a workspace in front of one's closeted partner's family and friends. When two people get into a relationship, they expect to be noticed by others as a couple, definitely not as two different individuals, especially when they are proud of what they are, regarding their gender identities and sexual orientations. But if one of them is not completely out or not so proud of what he/she/they is, then the other person encounters a lot of restrictive relationship attributes in one's dating life.


If you are gay and if your boyfriend behaves as two different individuals when in private and among the crowds, even though you may understand his closeted status to some extent, after a while you surely become impatient and you may force your partner to come out proud. If he fails at doing that, you may also end up struggling with various kinds of emotions, feelings and most importantly you may fall into a relationship dilemma.




Strictly speaking, if a person decides to introduce one's romantic partner as some random stranger to the outside world, that person couldn't be trusted to be opened up at any point of his/her lifetime. These kinds of partners make you feel like trash at the end of the day, because they may not comprehend how you feel as you are completely accepting, evolving, and engaging from your side. But if keep facing the same restriction in your relationship and if no one comes to know what you are actually together, then what's the whole point of being in a romantic relationship.


Of course, being in love is not about announcing to the world that you are romantically engaged but at the same time if you are in a relationship, you can feel the freedom of that romantic bond when it gets recognized by the world and when two persons considered as a couple. If you are dating someone who always tags you as his/her/their just a roommate even though you know each other's inside out by sharing the same room and same bed, then that person isn't worth enough to deserve your unconditional love.



Coming out as a queer person is not a condition, but a necessity. The queer community is all about being proud of one's orientation and identity. If someone tries to suppress one's sexuality for various reasons and also make you hide your sexuality just because the outside world won't find out that person's real identity, then it's completely offensive and unfair for the person who feels proud of one's queer existence. So, if you are that proud person who dates or be in a relationship with a person who doesn't value one's orientation then you need to think twice before committing further, indeed stop for a while to check your whole relationship.




Needless to say, for some people, it takes time to come out, and gradually they open up with the help of their partners and start their lives by giving no damn to anyone to explore their sexualities with their truly loving partners. But if you fall for someone who is always a people pleaser no matter what then you are in trouble. Because this set of people always try to convince their partners instead of standing against all the odds, answering their family, friends, and relatives regarding one's queer relationship, and most importantly try to play the safe game without hurting others. But sadly, you will get hurt and you face various emotional, mental, and psychological hurdles which may also affect your relationship at the end of the day.




So be aware of what you are getting into. If you think your partner may come out one day, then you can maintain patience and wait for the day when you both can officially announce your relationship to the world but if you don't see that day coming in your dating life, then even though it's difficult for a day or a month or a year, it's always better for you to come out of such relationships.



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