Especially in the life of a strictly closeted queer person! Though you want to be true to yourself and others, sometimes you end up telling lies to others and also to yourself to process the things and give it a time or to save yourself from the pressures or to save your relationship. It is understandable. No person in this whole world can rely on just truth. At some point of time, every person must tell at least one lie to make things work for them or to get rid of unnecessary situations.
A queer person's life is mostly a lie, especially for the ones who are closeted enough to come out to live his life on his terms. Emotionally, he gets trapped by societal and family issues. It is easy for others to point out and ask a person to come out of the closet, but it is difficult to do that if they step into his shoes and think about coming out to society. No one likes to build up one's life on lies, but one end up not having any opportunity to reveal one true self too. That's indescribable. Maintaining a queer lifestyle openly is getting easier day by day. But imagine the people who came out when everything around them seems illegal for being themselves. Some of us have to lead that life too in a very graceful way. Though it wasn't easy on their part, they managed to be open to the people around them. They never gave a scary thought about being behind the bars. And yeah, not everyone can be like those courageous souls who make others inspire to come out of the closet.
And this could be the very reason, where some people feel like suffocating themselves in the closets they are in. Imagine the situation of a crippled boy seeing the children around him happily playing with cheerful smiles. Even though he wanted to play, his situation wouldn't allow him to do that and all he could do is see and feel happy inside by convincing himself with a lie that it is okay to be left out because of his condition. Deep down, he feels the frustration, but outside he just tries to smile, which is a lie, which helps himself that everything is okay and leaves an impression of being happy on others. This is how a strictly closeted person feels about leading a queer lifestyle. Isn't it painful?